IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You have lost an item of value on a train. Write a letter to the railway company. In your letter describe the item explain where and when you left it say what action you would like the company to take

#item #value #train #railway #company #action
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing with regard to an important item that I have lost on the train, could you please help me in finding my item.
Firstly
, my valued item is a small black bag and it contains electronics like laptop, phone charger, iPad.
Also
, it contains sensitive documents and the bag has a soccer image printed on the back of it and has two zippers on the left of it.
Secondly
, I have left the bag in the middle of the train under the seat number 345 on the left side of the train. I left it on the previous day exactly around 4 pm.
Finally
, I would appreciate it if you could help me to find it as soon as possible and to check the camera security to make sure no one has stolen it.
Furthermore
, you can ask commuters who may notice anything strange from the travellers. I look forward to hearing from you as soon as you receive my message. Yours faithfully, Ahmed Alostaz
Submitted by basemhamedd on

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task achievement
Try to be more concise and clear in your explanations. For instance, mention exactly which train and route you were on, to help the railway company narrow down their search. Also, avoid repetition to keep the letter more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a single clear idea, as sometimes the ideas become a bit mixed. Keeping paragraphs focused will improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
You provided a detailed description of the lost item, which is very useful for the railway company.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is polite and respectful, which is fitting for the context and purpose.
coherence cohesion
Your letter includes clear sections for the description of the item, details of where and when it was left, and the actions you would like to be taken.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are well-executed and appropriate for a formal letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • valuable
  • distinguishing features
  • route
  • carriage
  • seat number
  • lost and found department
  • appropriate steps
  • contact information
  • swift and positive action
  • item of value
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