some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
According to
some allowing children
to make their decisions
on everyday Correct word choice
own decisions
matters
(such
as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to resalt
in a community of Correct your spelling
result
people
who only think about their own hopes. While
other people
believe that it is important for children
to make their own choices about matters
that affect them. In my opinion, I consider that children
need someone to guide them how
they make their choices.
On the Change preposition
in how
one
hand, some people
think that allowing children
to make their own decisions leads to make
them think only about themselves, and I agree because of some reasons. Wrong verb form
making
To begin
, children
are not measure
enough, so giving them the opportunity to choose the basic Change the verb form
are not measured
are not measuring
matters
(such
as food and clothes) will tempt them to be selfish. Another point is, if
Correct word choice
that if
children
used to choose whatever they want, they would think that it is their right to choose anything even if it hurts other people
. For example
, if one
child decide
to wear a good shirt from his or her view, but from Change the verb form
decides
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
view it is unsuitable to be Change noun form
society's
wore
.
Wrong verb form
worn
On the other hand
, other people
believe that making children
choose their own decision
on everyday matters
which
affect them and they have some reasons. The first Correct pronoun usage
apply
one
is that the confident
of the Replace the word
confidence
children
will be increased. For instance
, if one
child choose
something he or she Change the verb form
chooses
like
Change the verb form
likes
it
, they will feel that they have an opinion Correct pronoun usage
apply
which
they can share Correct word choice
that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
among
the Change preposition
with
people
around them. The second one
is that no bodt
denies that Correct your spelling
body
children
face many things in their childhood and they have to choose
the Verb problem
make
decision
which is helpful for their own cases.
To sum up
, while
some believe that it is better to allow children
to choose
their own Verb problem
make
decision
. I believe that Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
children
need someone to help them to choose
the right Verb problem
make
decision
. If children
used to gain whatever they want
, they might be selfish.Wrong verb form
wanted
Submitted by asomm5563 on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph that paraphrases the prompt and presents a thesis statement, a body that develops ideas with examples, and a conclusion that summarises the main points and restates the thesis.
logical structure
Develop each paragraph with one clear main idea, and use cohesive devices effectively to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
supported main points
Support main points with specific examples and explanations to strengthen the argument. Avoid general statements and strive to provide concrete details.
complete response
Fully respond to all parts of the task ensuring that the position is relevant to the prompt. Include clear, relevant ideas, and ensure that opposing viewpoints are acknowledged and addressed.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on expressing ideas clearly and comprehensively, ensuring that each paragraph logically progresses from the previous one and contributes to the overall argument of the essay.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant, specific examples to illustrate your arguments, ensuring they are directly connected to the main points being discussed in the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?