‘Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers in most countries.’ How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

#‘unemployment #challenge #school-leavers #countries #challenges #face #people

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The

number

job

opportunities

in the market has decreased over the years,

while

the

number

of graduates has risen significantly.

This

phenomenon remains one of the biggest challenges that graduates face today. I agree that

unemployment

is a major issue, and I believe it is one that governments should address to secure a better future for their citizens. Nowadays, many young

people

are experiencing

the

Correct article usage

show examples

growing trend of

unemployment

This

may be

due to

the disparity between the

number

job

opportunities

available and the

number

of graduates or

job

seekers.

Additionally

this

issue may

also

arise from economic inflation, which affects many companies' ability to hire new employees. Recent studies by the BBC reveal that many individuals aged 22 to 35 are still struggling to find employment, even though they hold advanced degrees.

Furthermore

in addition

to the high

unemployment

rate, young

people

must

also

contend with inflation. The cost of living in major cities has risen significantly over the years. Unfortunately, many young

people

are forced to leave the cities where they studied and return to their

parents'

Correct your spelling

parent's

show examples

homes

due to

the high living costs. In some countries, governments have already responded by strictly limiting the

number

of international students allowed to study,

due to

the lack of

job

opportunities

and the high cost of living.

To conclude

, the problem of

unemployment

has been a persistent challenge for young

people

in recent years.

However

, there are still no effective solutions to address

this

issue. Governments play an important role in tackling

unemployment

, as the future of the nation depends on the well-being of the younger generation. By opening up more

job

opportunities

across various sectors,

this

problem could be effectively addressed in the short term.

Submitted by salwaputrihardiyan on Fri Dec 13 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or data from different countries where the impact of unemployment on school-leavers is demonstrated, to reinforce your points further.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph logically leads to the next, perhaps by using cohesive devices or transitional phrases more frequently.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

task achievement

The points made are relevant to the topic and provide a comprehensive view of the challenges faced by young people today, with a strong focus on unemployment.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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‘Unemployment remains the biggest challenge to school-leavers in most countries.’ How far do you agree with this assessment? What other challenges face young people today?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that the main result of environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important result on environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of one country, While some people think there are other factors. what other factors should be considers ? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than the others ?

Some people think that the computers will be more intelligent than humans. Others are worried about the negative consequences of them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say showing program such as Olympics, cricket on television is the best way to encourage adults to do exercise. Some say that there are some other ways to encourage adults for exercise. Discuss both views and give your opinion.