IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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In modern society, there is an ongoing debate about whether in different countries, governments should introduce laws to limit working
hours
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 for employees or not, with some experts believing that many
people
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 should
work
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 overtime . In
this
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 essay, I will argue and explain my opinion about
this
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 topic.
To begin
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 with, I firmly, believe that there are some benefits of limiting working
time
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.
This
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 is because too many
hours
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 that
people
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 stay in the workspace do harm to
people
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's lives. On the one hand, keeping the rule that employees
work
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 for only 8
hours
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 has several problems for companies.
Firstly
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, many workmen, and workwomen cannot keep the deadline, which contributes to business abilities.
Furthermore
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, some folks use
this
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 rule in bad ways, in which they spend meaningless
time
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 and even do not
work
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 their best.
For example
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,
according to
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 a recent survey, a lot of companies' performances have been decreasing by 15% point since governments introduced
this
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law
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.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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law
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 exerts a positive effect on an individual's health and life quality. In recent years, many individuals strongly believe that the balance between
work
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 and life is significant.
Moreover
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, the
law
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 that limits working
hours
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 has advantages because it distinguishes
work
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time
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 from family
time
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.
As a result
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, many folks can live good quality lives through the rule. In my opinion, the
law
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 makes them better lives than in the past
time
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. For these reasons, governments should introduce the
law
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. In conclusion,
while
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 it is undeniable that there are several merits and demerits,
it is clear that
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 many
people
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 can become healthy by the
law
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 that limits worktime.

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task achievement
Try to expand your points with more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, discuss specific negative health impacts of excessive working hours and how limiting them can improve productivity and morale.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity of your ideas by avoiding repetitive phrasing and ensuring each point is clearly linked to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases like 'however,' 'moreover,' or 'therefore' more effectively to create smoother transitions between points and paragraphs.
structure
You have made a good effort in structuring your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
content
The discussion on the positive effects on individuals’ health and work-life balance is a strong point of your essay.
conclusion
Your concluding paragraph effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
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