IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph depicts four countries and population of their cities.

the graph depicts four countries and population of their cities.
The line graph represents four Asia countries and their proportion of city residents in
percentage
Use synonyms
 between 1970 and 2020, followed by
forecast
Add an article
a forecast
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 for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
two
Use synonyms
 decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
Use synonyms
two
Add a missing verb
are two
show examples
 pairs, which witnessed the same pattern throughout the period and are estimated to have
common
Add an article
a common
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 tendency for 2030 and 2040. By far the most significant changes were experienced by Malaysia and Indonesia as they started at nearly 15% and just above 30% respectively, making up a steady growth
in
Change preposition
from
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 1990 up to 2020. Both are predicted to have the heaviest figures compared to the rest pair during
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 decades, comprising almost 85% and 65% respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the remaining
two
Use synonyms
 countries
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as Philippines and Thailand showed
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 similar upward tendency over the period,
however
Linking Words
 more fluctuated and less
rapid
Change the word
rapidly
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, constituting much fewer
percentage
Use synonyms
 points
as
Change preposition
than
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 the previous
two
Use synonyms
.
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Thailand
Change noun form
Thailand's
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 population growth is more gradual, rather
the
Change preposition
than the
show examples
 population of
Philipines
Correct article usage
the Philipines
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, where there was a sudden jump from almost 32% to
namely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
50% in 1990. Afterwards, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 a decline in
percentage
Use synonyms
 up to 40 in 2010 for
Correct article usage
the Philippine’s
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Philippine’s
Change noun form
Philippine
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 population, whilst the rest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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twofold the
percentage
Use synonyms
 from nearly 15% to 30%. The latter
as well as
Linking Words
 the former have predictions to have a notable progression up to almost 65% and 45% respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, two with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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