Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The advertising industry has undeniably thrived in recent decades, infiltrating many aspects of daily life including preferences. From my perspective, I consider
growth to be completely negative as it leads to a distorted perception of reality and overconsumption among consumers. My foremost concern lies in the tendency of advertisements to cause audiences to falsely perceive the relative importance of major factors in their lives. They generally prioritise material possessions and physical appearance
failing to appreciate the value of other positive qualities. A prime example is advertising campaigns run by cosmetics brands which often praise physical attractiveness as being vital to a healthy relationship,
reliability and sympathy have been long proven by experts to be more influential in fostering personal connections.
well-established truth would likely be more popularly embraced if marketing messages did not exaggerate the significance of physical appearance. The consumerism caused by excessive advertising is another reason for my disapproval of its popularity. Marketers nowadays are armed with new customer insights and advanced technical tools to skillfully entice viewers into making impulsive purchases. To illustrate, TikTok has developed a detection feature that can constantly identify the preferences and hobbies of users based on their content search,
prompting suitable buying suggestions that accurately trigger their temptation to buy these things.
has given rise to impulsive buying that
leads to not only personal debt but
excessive waste which contaminates the environment since more unwanted obsolete items would be discarded. It is a testament
Change preposition
show examples
to why advertising campaigns are detrimental at both individual and societal levels. In conclusion, the prevalence of advertisements appears to me as a disadvantage as they distort the audience’s view of life and breed overconsumption.
That is
why governments should issue more stringent laws to restrain the development of the advertising industry until the aforementioned issues are comprehensively addressed.
Submitted by weezel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay that addresses the prompt directly. Your position was generally clear, but it can benefit from a more nuanced approach that considers both sides of the argument before reaffirming your stance.
coherence cohesion
Work on using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to strengthen your argument and clarify the connection between ideas for higher marks.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: