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Writing Samples
Band 7

There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of educa''tion. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university?

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Recently a huge amount of
students
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 have continued their studies after
highschool
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high school
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,
therefore
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, there is a heated debate about whether
this
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 situation is good or bad for society. In fact, some believe that
this
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 trend increases the educational rank of the population,
while
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 others think it is compromising the learning process.
Overall
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, the advantages are many, especially from an economic point of view, since more educated communities tend to have high-paid jobs, and money circulating in the stock market is more.
Consequently
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, an effect of the increasing
education
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, is that people tend to invest more and better their savings, causing rapid financial growth of their country.
In addition
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,
according to
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 statistical research, countries with a larger amount of citizens who studied at university, not only are richer
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 have a better quality of life.
However
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, the quality of
education
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 cannot be guaranteed if there are too many people attending lectures. Without question, it is commonly known that classes with less number of participants are better for
students
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, because the ratio between them and the amount of teachers is lower, meaning that youngsters can have more attention from the professors, clearing their eventual doubts.
Furthermore
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,
as a result
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 of many people who have a high level of
education
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, few are considering taking part in less paid but essential jobs for our society, like farmers or masons. The lack of these kinds of professional figures can have a negative impact on communities. In conclusion, the increasing number of
students
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 is very far from creating problems in the structure of society.
Moreover
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, the problem of the quality of
education
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 has already been solved by universities by dividing
students
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 into smaller groups.
Hence
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,
this
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overall
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 situation has a positive impact on humanity as a whole.

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task achievement
To enhance task response, consider including more detailed examples that illustrate your points and link them back to the main argument clearly. This will strengthen the argument and support the assertions made.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving coherence by ensuring smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help maintain a consistent flow, making your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages of increasing student numbers at universities, which addresses the task comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively framed, summarizing the main points which provide a clear structure to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows logically from the introduction to the conclusion, aiding the reader's understanding and maintaining focus on the main topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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