Space travel has been possible for some time and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Recent technological breakthroughs have made
space
tourism possible with some predicting its future to be promising. However
, I am of the opinion that its development is largely negative considering the financial and environmental costs even though it might be a profitable industry.
The foremost rationale for my disapproval of travelling to outer space
is its enormous waste of money. Jeff Bezos, for instance
, spent upwards of about $300 million to experience zero gravity and a generally broader view of the Earth for only a dozen minutes. If that sum had been invested in the construction of hospitals and shelters for the poor, thousands of precious lives could have been saved.
Another major concern that causes me to disapprove of space
travel is its environmental damage. The total carbon footprint to fly to outer space
is substantial, resulting from the burning of rocket fuel, the manufacture and maintenance of space
shuttles as well as
various technical facilities. Not only does this
directly exacerbate air pollution but also
serves as an act of discouragement to the global effort to combat climate change.
Nevertheless
, I acknowledge that this
new industry is financially promising. As space
tourists are generally wealthy, they can afford an incredibly high ticket price, making tour operating companies
highly profitable. With an exceptional financial pool, these companies
might invest in more sophisticated technologies such
as an accurate GPS system that benefits the general public or employ more people, helping to reduce the unemployment rate.
In conclusion, I believe that an increase in space
tourism is mostly disadvantageous given its excessive price and impact on environmental protection although
the expansion of tour companies
can be beneficial economically. That is
why governments should encourage these companies
to divert their resources to address ongoing issues such
as hunger and global warming.Submitted by weezel on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, setting a clear framework for the essay. Yet, strive to establish stronger links between these sections and your central thesis throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
While you've structured the main points logically, ensure that ideas flow smoothly between paragraphs using a diverse range of cohesive devices. This enhances the readability and makes your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but some can be further developed with more elaboration, diverse vocabulary, and stronger topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a response that covers the task requirements but work on fully developing your examples to satisfy the prompt's demand for a discursive answer. Make sure each paragraph is focused on adequately exploring a single aspect of the question.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive to some extent, but the response could be enriched with deeper analysis and exploration of the topic's complexities. Consider varying sentence structures and using a wider range of expressions to convey nuance.
task achievement
Employ relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, ensuring that they contribute significantly to your point of view. Try to include examples that have a broader scope and are universally relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
