IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ...................,

#friend #advice #college #job #idea #addresses
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Dear Julie, I hope you are doing well. I came to know from your previous letter that you are in a dilemma and wanted my advice about whether you should get a
job
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 or join a college.
However
Linking Words
, as per my experience, I would say try to get a
job
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 as soon as possible. I know you might be thinking why I said so.
Firstly
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, colleges give importance to theoretical
knowledge
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 rather than practical
knowledge
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.
Moreover
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, you would have to cram all the lessons to get good grades in your courses. Henceforth, I know you would not enjoy that kind of study.
Secondly
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, getting a good
job
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 will not only make you financially independent but
also
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 will give you practical
knowledge
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 and enhance your skill sets.
This
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 will give you a broader view of what you want in your life and will
also
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 help you in meeting experienced
as well as
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 professional people. So, I suggest you find a
job
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 which aligns with your interests. As per my
knowledge
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, you like SAP and Salesforce technology. So, try to find some entry-level positions
such
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 as Junior Salesforce Admin or System Admin at Glassdoor or LinkedIn I
also
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 suggest you update your LinkedIn profile and increase your networking. I hope
this
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 will help you and if you need any other suggestions please feel free to ask me. Thank you. Your friend, Shweta
Submitted by bhat.shweta17 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next.
task achievement
Try to elaborate slightly more on why college might not be enjoyable, providing specific examples related to your friend's personality or interests.
task achievement
The letter maintains a friendly and advising tone, suitable for a personal correspondence.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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