IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that one of the best way to solve global environment problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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People’s opinions differ on whether increasing the money for buying
fuel
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 for
vehicles
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 is one of the best solutions for tackling environmental concerns. I believe
this
Linking Words
 method can address the problems of
air
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 and
noise
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pollution
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 when leading individuals’ choices to public transport and
vehicles
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 that require renewable energy. The prominent reason for considering the
fuel
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 cost increase as an effective method is the decrease in
noise
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pollution
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. When there is a rise in the money for purchasing
fuel
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, people will opt for public transport
such
Linking Words
 as trams or buses rather than private
vehicles
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 to lower the spending on commuting.
As a result
Linking Words
, there will be fewer
vehicles
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 on the streets;
hence
Linking Words
, reducing traffic congestion.
This
Linking Words
 can mitigate the effects of
noise
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pollution
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 since there will no longer be any sounds of
vehicles
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 honking in peak hours. Another reason for applying
this
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 solution is to alleviate
air
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pollution
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. With higher charges for
fuel
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, society will utilize the use of renewable energy, not least for
vehicles
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 using
this
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there will be less exhaust fumes released
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the environment, moderating the impacts of
air
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pollution
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. Japan,
for example
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, which has one of the highest quality atmospheres in the world, has imposed a higher fee on
fuel
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 for many years, decreasing the number of harmful gases from petrol
vehicles
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. In brief, increasing the cost of
fuel
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 can reduce traffic jams and exhaust fumes;
therefore
Linking Words
, mitigating the impacts of
noise
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 and
air
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pollution
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. For these reasons,
this
Linking Words
 measure should be justified as one of the most effective ways to tackle environmental issues.

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style
Try to use a wider variety of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to maintain a logical flow of ideas. For instance, connecting sentences at the beginning and end of paragraphs can help.
content
The essay effectively addresses both air and noise pollution, providing relevant examples and clear reasoning.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, giving a clear overview of the essay's main points and summarizing the arguments effectively.
support
The main points are well-supported with evidence, such as the example of Japan's high fuel costs contributing to better air quality.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • public transport
  • fuel-efficient
  • electric vehicles
  • renewable energy
  • green technologies
  • disproportionately affect
  • commuting
  • infrastructure development
  • cycling and walking
  • deforestation
  • industrial pollution
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