Some people think the government should support artists like painters, musicians, and poets, while others believe this wastes money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although
certain individuals advocate that governmental allocation of financial means to bolster artists, encompassing painters, musicians, and poets, significantly contributes to cultural enhancement and societal progress, others cast doubt that
such
funding constitutes a lavish squandering of public funds. Both perspectives present compelling rationales, yet I believe that
such
investment nurtures culture and creativity. On one hand, proponents of government funding for artists posit that artistic expressions,
such
as paintings, music compositions, and poetry, transcend geographical boundaries, providing a unique window into a society’s values, history, and emotions.
This
cultural preservation fosters a sense of belonging and cohesion within a nation, strengthening social bonds. Eminent creations like Leonardo da Vinci’s iconic “Mona Lisa” or Shakespeare’s literary masterpieces,
for instance
, stand as everlasting mirrors of their respective cultures, drawing in tourists and bolstering national pride.
On the other hand
, opponents contend that the funds could be better utilized in addressing pressing societal issues,
such
as healthcare and education. Diverting resources towards art might deprive critical sectors of much-needed investments, potentially hampering the
overall
development of a nation.
For example
, investments in advanced medical research can lead to groundbreaking treatments that enhance public health and well-being. In my opinion, artistic expression should continue to flourish, serving as a source of inspiration and cultural enrichment. Artistic endeavours often defy societal norms and orthodox cognition, sparking fresh ideas translatable across various realms,
such
as incorporating design principles into technology and utilizing storytelling techniques in marketing In conclusion, despite resource allocation to artists that might be perceived as an extravagant expenditure, I firmly concur that funds should be allocated to their development, given its imperative role in upholding the integrity of national identity and stimulating innovation in several disciplines.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with more specific examples and clear explanations to support the opinions and views expressed.
coherence cohesion
While the overview and conclusion are present, there's room for improvement in making the introduction and conclusion stronger and more engaging.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task more fully. Make sure to discuss both views thoroughly and give your own opinion with clear, specific reasons.
task achievement
Clarify the ideas presented by expanding on the arguments with more depth and precision.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to substantiate arguments; this would significantly strengthen the response and help achieve a higher score.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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