5.Women are better at childcare than men therefore they should focus more on raising children and less on their working life. To what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Women are more adept at caregiving than men;
therefore
, they should prioritize the upbringing of their children
over their professional pursuits. This
essay also
agrees with this
initiative because it is childcare
females
are very adorable and workable females
are more stressed per period.
The primary reason why childbirth females
are more attractive is that it is basic sense to men and females
to take care
of birth if you don’t care
about your babies
but still a rising problem. Experts and females
always take care
of babies
, for instance
, when child babies
’ days were increased, there was 100 % focus on childcare
because it is not only on long last
sleeping babies
but also
more and more crying. Furthermore
, A childcare
person maintains various work daily so they should focus on their family or other babies
, there is a huge daily working activity and think about taking care
of babies
.
The second main reason is that women feel that their working days are more stressful. In the modern day, many women work through employment, while
they have assignments in factories or banks it is a brain activity which is not effective, I mean totally stressful. The female reader does a job, for example
, they always think of their children
, so it's a painful period. A man works and when he goes home after finishing work he should not think about his family, they always think about their children
or others. So, there was a big difference between male and female childcare
.
In conclusion, this
essay believes that females
' concentration is better child than men they should be controlled both by raising children
and working because it focuses more on their babies
looking after and working time more pain but it is good careful.Submitted by nikhilnath1996 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a clearer structure. Start with an introduction that clearly states your position, followed by supporting paragraphs that provide evidence and arguments, and finally a conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
You need to ensure that the ideas you present are well-organized and logically connected. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed arguments and relevant examples. This will help to make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Avoid repetition and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a different aspect of your argument. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to follow.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide reasons and examples to support your position, which is a good approach to developing your argument.
task achievement
Your essay touches on relevant points about the roles of women in childcare and the workplace, which are important aspects to consider for this topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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