New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, more and more people are taking a consideration to attend a course in parenting before they are married. I believe that focusing on children
's well-being will make they are healthy mentally and physically. On top of that, I slightly agree that new parents
should formally attend parenting courses, and I prefer that new couples learn parenting informally as long as they have measurable knowledge about children
's development.
New parents
should have a solid foundation for future family visions, including how the children
are raised and developed. This
is because parents
have an enormous impact on the childhood stage of one's life and have a huge effect on the children
's entire life. For instance
, a high-quality parental and kids relationship leads children
to have better performance at school and stronger mental health in the future. Furthermore
, implementing good parenting styles and emphasizing deeply-rooted cultural values can help parents
face upcoming struggles and obstacles when their children
reach teenage and adolescent ages and subsequently
lead to fewer behavioural problems. Finally
, positive parenting will significantly enhance the children
's possibility to become more successful in terms of educational achievement, professional accomplishment, and social ability.
In addition
to attending parenting courses, newly married couples can optimally use the online platform to gain comprehensive advice and suggestions from older parents
. For example
, new parents
can be actively involved in a virtual group forum or independently watch expert talks on parenting on social media. New parents
can ask others about the journey of raising a child or how to prevent a child from becoming temperamental because they had experiences that long way before the new parents
. By learning from experienced parents
, new couples will simply implement and easily absorb others' knowledge about parenting.
To sum up
, learning about parenting is crucial for family journeys because it can fully impact someone's life. Moreover
, besides
attending formal parenting courses, other sources of knowledge can significantly improve parenting skills, such
as group discussions or online video platforms.Submitted by asyifannisakh on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear argument with a logical structure. However, you could improve the clarity of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences within that paragraph coherently support that main idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion of your essay are clearly defined, with the introduction setting up your argument and the conclusion effectively summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
While you have presented relevant examples to support your arguments, you could strengthen your essay by including more specific examples and ensuring that they directly support your main ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by providing a complete response to the question posed. As an IELTS examiner, I noticed that your position on whether new parents should attend parenting courses is not entirely clear. You need to clarify your viewpoint and ensure that it is consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, which is good. However, aim to further develop your argument by exploring your ideas more thoroughly and presenting a more detailed examination of the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support each of your main points. While you provided some examples, they could be more detailed and personalized to add depth to your argument.