New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
day and age, more and more people are taking a consideration to attend a course in parenting before they are married. I believe that focusing on
children
Use synonyms
's well-being will make they are healthy mentally and physically. On top of that, I slightly agree that new
parents
Use synonyms
should formally attend parenting courses, and I prefer that new couples learn parenting informally as long as they have measurable knowledge about
children
Use synonyms
's development. New
parents
Use synonyms
should have a solid foundation for future family visions, including how the
children
Use synonyms
are raised and developed.
This
Linking Words
is because
parents
Use synonyms
have an enormous impact on the childhood stage of one's life and have a huge effect on the
children
Use synonyms
's entire life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a high-quality parental and kids relationship leads
children
Use synonyms
to have better performance at school and stronger mental health in the future.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, implementing good parenting styles and emphasizing deeply-rooted cultural values can help
parents
Use synonyms
face upcoming struggles and obstacles when their
children
Use synonyms
reach teenage and adolescent ages and
subsequently
Linking Words
lead to fewer behavioural problems.
Finally
Linking Words
, positive parenting will significantly enhance the
children
Use synonyms
's possibility to become more successful in terms of educational achievement, professional accomplishment, and social ability.
In addition
Linking Words
to attending parenting courses, newly married couples can optimally use the online platform to gain comprehensive advice and suggestions from older
parents
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, new
parents
Use synonyms
can be actively involved in a virtual group forum or independently watch expert talks on parenting on social media. New
parents
Use synonyms
can ask others about the journey of raising a child or how to prevent a child from becoming temperamental because they had experiences that long way before the new
parents
Use synonyms
. By learning from experienced
parents
Use synonyms
, new couples will simply implement and easily absorb others' knowledge about parenting.
To sum up
Linking Words
, learning about parenting is crucial for family journeys because it can fully impact someone's life.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
attending formal parenting courses, other sources of knowledge can significantly improve parenting skills,
such
Linking Words
as group discussions or online video platforms.
Submitted by asyifannisakh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
You have presented a clear argument with a logical structure. However, you could improve the clarity of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences within that paragraph coherently support that main idea.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion of your essay are clearly defined, with the introduction setting up your argument and the conclusion effectively summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
While you have presented relevant examples to support your arguments, you could strengthen your essay by including more specific examples and ensuring that they directly support your main ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt by providing a complete response to the question posed. As an IELTS examiner, I noticed that your position on whether new parents should attend parenting courses is not entirely clear. You need to clarify your viewpoint and ensure that it is consistent throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, which is good. However, aim to further develop your argument by exploring your ideas more thoroughly and presenting a more detailed examination of the topic.
task achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support each of your main points. While you provided some examples, they could be more detailed and personalized to add depth to your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: