New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

this

day and age, more and more people are taking a consideration to attend a course in parenting before they are married. I believe that focusing on

children

's well-being will make they are healthy mentally and physically. On top of that, I slightly agree that new

parents

should formally attend parenting courses, and I prefer that new couples learn parenting informally as long as they have measurable knowledge about

children

's development. New

parents

should have a solid foundation for future family visions, including how the

children

are raised and developed.

This

is because

parents

have an enormous impact on the childhood stage of one's life and have a huge effect on the

children

's entire life.

For instance

, a high-quality parental and kids relationship leads

children

to have better performance at school and stronger mental health in the future.

Furthermore

, implementing good parenting styles and emphasizing deeply-rooted cultural values can help

parents

face upcoming struggles and obstacles when their

children

reach teenage and adolescent ages and

subsequently

lead to fewer behavioural problems.

Finally

, positive parenting will significantly enhance the

children

's possibility to become more successful in terms of educational achievement, professional accomplishment, and social ability.

In addition

to attending parenting courses, newly married couples can optimally use the online platform to gain comprehensive advice and suggestions from older

parents

For example

, new

parents

can be actively involved in a virtual group forum or independently watch expert talks on parenting on social media. New

parents

can ask others about the journey of raising a child or how to prevent a child from becoming temperamental because they had experiences that long way before the new

parents

. By learning from experienced

parents

, new couples will simply implement and easily absorb others' knowledge about parenting.

To sum up

, learning about parenting is crucial for family journeys because it can fully impact someone's life.

Moreover

besides

attending formal parenting courses, other sources of knowledge can significantly improve parenting skills,

such

as group discussions or online video platforms.

Submitted by asyifannisakh on Sun Nov 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have presented a clear argument with a logical structure. However, you could improve the clarity of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences within that paragraph coherently support that main idea.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion of your essay are clearly defined, with the introduction setting up your argument and the conclusion effectively summarizing your main points.

coherence cohesion

While you have presented relevant examples to support your arguments, you could strengthen your essay by including more specific examples and ensuring that they directly support your main ideas.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by providing a complete response to the question posed. As an IELTS examiner, I noticed that your position on whether new parents should attend parenting courses is not entirely clear. You need to clarify your viewpoint and ensure that it is consistent throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, which is good. However, aim to further develop your argument by exploring your ideas more thoroughly and presenting a more detailed examination of the topic.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support each of your main points. While you provided some examples, they could be more detailed and personalized to add depth to your argument.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that all lawbreakers should be taken into prison. In contrast, others believe there are better alternatives (for example, doing work or learning skills in the community). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.