New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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day and age, more and more people are taking a consideration to attend a course in parenting before they are married. I believe that focusing on

children

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's well-being will make they are healthy mentally and physically. On top of that, I slightly agree that new

parents

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should formally attend parenting courses, and I prefer that new couples learn parenting informally as long as they have measurable knowledge about

children

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's development. New

parents

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should have a solid foundation for future family visions, including how the

children

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are raised and developed.

This

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is because

parents

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have an enormous impact on the childhood stage of one's life and have a huge effect on the

children

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's entire life.

For instance

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, a high-quality parental and kids relationship leads

children

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to have better performance at school and stronger mental health in the future.

Furthermore

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, implementing good parenting styles and emphasizing deeply-rooted cultural values can help

parents

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face upcoming struggles and obstacles when their

children

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reach teenage and adolescent ages and

subsequently

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lead to fewer behavioural problems.

Finally

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, positive parenting will significantly enhance the

children

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's possibility to become more successful in terms of educational achievement, professional accomplishment, and social ability.

In addition

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to attending parenting courses, newly married couples can optimally use the online platform to gain comprehensive advice and suggestions from older

parents

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For example

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, new

parents

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can be actively involved in a virtual group forum or independently watch expert talks on parenting on social media. New

parents

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can ask others about the journey of raising a child or how to prevent a child from becoming temperamental because they had experiences that long way before the new

parents

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. By learning from experienced

parents

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, new couples will simply implement and easily absorb others' knowledge about parenting.

To sum up

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, learning about parenting is crucial for family journeys because it can fully impact someone's life.

Moreover

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besides

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attending formal parenting courses, other sources of knowledge can significantly improve parenting skills,

such

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as group discussions or online video platforms.

asyifannisakhSun Nov 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

You have presented a clear argument with a logical structure. However, you could improve the clarity of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all subsequent sentences within that paragraph coherently support that main idea.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion of your essay are clearly defined, with the introduction setting up your argument and the conclusion effectively summarizing your main points.

coherence cohesion

While you have presented relevant examples to support your arguments, you could strengthen your essay by including more specific examples and ensuring that they directly support your main ideas.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address the prompt by providing a complete response to the question posed. As an IELTS examiner, I noticed that your position on whether new parents should attend parenting courses is not entirely clear. You need to clarify your viewpoint and ensure that it is consistent throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, which is good. However, aim to further develop your argument by exploring your ideas more thoroughly and presenting a more detailed examination of the topic.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support each of your main points. While you provided some examples, they could be more detailed and personalized to add depth to your argument.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

332 words

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New parents should attend parenting courses to bring up their children well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When international media (including movies, fashion shows, advertisements and other TV programs) convey the same messages to the global audience, people argue that the expansion of international media has negative impacts on cultural diversity, what is your opinion?

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air polution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this idea?

In many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships. Do you think the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?