Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people.
Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently technology has been sharply improving in all fields.
Therefore
, studying evolved as well, meaning students now have access to high-tech
devices
that can be useful for their studies.
On the other hand
, those could
also
be impractical, making scholars' life uneasy.
Firstly
, studying from paper-made tools has the advantage that usually has been written using valuable sources, so whatever is written is certainly verified. In fact, book companies are really good at looking for verified data to write in books.
In addition
, studying from
devices
can be very harmful to health.
For example
, blue light coming from the screen of computers or smartphones can severely damage the retina leading to blindness in the long run.
Moreover
, having pointed to the face artificial light during the day can interfere with the sleeping cycle, resulting in both organic and psychological negative effects.
In contrast
, new-generation
devices
can provide a valid alternative to older
methods
.
For instance
, tablets now usually have virtually an infinite possibility of storage, meaning that with one small tool access to an enormous amount of sources is possible.
Consequently
, the
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
amount of heavy books can be replaced with a lighter option.
Furthermore
, more efficient studying
methods
are available thanks to those
devices
. Videos are another method used to learn easily, looking at them helps a lot of scholars to visualize and memorize the information better than images found in regular books. In conclusion, I believe that using new
methods
is for sure improving the studying process
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because the few advantages old
methods
have do not stand a chance against all the pros new technology provides.
Submitted by alessandro.talese on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or studies to back up your arguments, especially when discussing the benefits and drawbacks of technology in studying.
task achievement
Try to develop your main points further to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness. While the essay covers both viewpoints, more in-depth exploration could improve your score.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next. Some transitions are abrupt, making it harder for readers to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical connections between your ideas. This will help in maintaining a consistent flow throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents and discusses both perspectives on technology as a study tool.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are provided, helping frame the discussion well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: