IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #cars #travel #city #bicycle #points
There is a great debate between
cars
 and bicycle is the best mode of transportation to
travel
 in a city. Some advocate for the convenience and comfort of
cars
,
while
 some champion the ecological and health benefits of bicycles. I prefer to
travel
 by car because it is a more relaxing way for me to enjoy the urban
travel
 experience.
Cars
 provide undeniable advantages in urban
travel
. They offer convenience, allowing individuals to reach destinations faster and carry heavy loads.
Also
, providing a comfortable and sheltered environment from adverse weather conditions.
Additionally
,
cars
 can accommodate multiple passengers which makes them more suitable for family trips.
For example
, people in Hong Kong love to visit Japan as a family trip because it is very easy and convenient to
travel
 within the city by automobile. Bicycles ,
on the other hand
, a very environmentally friendly, they emit zero greenhouse gases.
Furthermore
, it is more
cost friendly
Add a hyphen
cost-friendly
show examples
 requiring no fuel expense and minimal maintenance cost. They
also
 promote physical health, as cycling serves as one of the excellent exercises that can improve cardiovascular health.
For instance
, Taiwan is famous for its “cycling tour” along its coastline, the government invested a lot of money to promote and attract tourists to join
this
 “one of the best cycling tours in the world”. In conclusion,
while
 bicycles can provide a more healthy and eco-friendly urban
travel
 experience , I personally prefer to sightseeing by car, which can give me a more convenient and comfortable experience to enjoy my time with my family
Submitted by nataliewong313 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Logical Structure
Continue to use clear and logical structure in your essays, as this helps in making your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Supported Main Points
Consider including a broader range of examples and evidence to further support your arguments. While the examples provided are relevant, adding more variety could enhance the persuasiveness of your points.
Complete Response
Strive to maintain a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion to ensure a comprehensive coverage of the topic.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay and summarizing your perspective respectively.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
You've clearly articulated why you prefer cars over bicycles for urban travel, providing specific examples to support your preference.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: