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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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With the growth of technology the use time of gadgets,
such
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 as smartphones, has increased significantly.
However
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, overindulging in the usage of
such
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 a device, which is common in youngsters, might cause health problems.
Thus
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, it is extremely important that control measures are taken by parents to avoid these issues.
Although
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 these overusings are conducted by young people who are not fully aware of these irreversible health-related effects and can lead to lots of problems, I firmly believe they are quite beneficial if using them is limited. In
this
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 modern time in which almost all devices are combined into one gadget, it is not surprising that they would be overused. Several decades ago, every piece of technology had a separate body and was in need of its own treatment, like the Radio, TV or even the Telephone;
however
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, now within
this
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 contemporary era, these devices are all combined
in
Change preposition
into
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 one gadget called "smartphone", which is able to carry on any duty that anybody wants.
Consequently
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, if you want a Radio it is just a finger tab away from you, as a matter of fact, the whole world is at your fingertips. Despite all the possibilities and advantages that a smartphone can bring with itself,
this
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 gadget comes with negative points too.
For example
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,
according to
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 "
Statictica
Correct your spelling
Statistics
", an institution which offers statistic about diseases amongst other reports, the number of children who suffers from eye conditions has tripled during the
last
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 10 years.
This
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 problem is referred to as one of the side effects of playing Video games aggressively, as announced by
Statictica
Correct your spelling
Statistics
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 using smartphones can be harmful but they can be extremely beneficial, as long as their usage is strict.

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with clear, relevant examples. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by explanation and example.
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Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples into your writing, as they help to provide evidence for your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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