In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development

Migration

from rural

areas

cities

has long been a significant trend, presenting various challenges. In today's world,

this

movement has intensified, leading to a noticeable decline in the population of the countryside. From my perspective,

this

trend is largely negative, as it can lead to several detrimental consequences.

This

essay will explore the reasons why

this

shift might be problematic."

Firstly

, rural

areas

will encounter workforce shortages.

Cities

offer numerous occupational opportunities with higher incomes, motivating particularly young people to leave their hometowns to advance their careers.

This

migration

leads to a scarcity of workers in rural

areas

Additionally

food

prices may experience rampant inflation and shortages. Farmlands are predominantly located in rural regions, making these

areas

crucial for

food

production. When individuals abandon farming for better living standards in urban

areas

food

production rates can decrease significantly, leading to higher

food

prices and scarcity.

Moreover

, rural

areas

are often the custodians of traditions, customs, and ancient culture.

Migration

to bustling

cities

can lead to the erosion of these cultural elements.

For instance

, a tribe living near Tehran migrated

due to

a lack of facilities, resulting in the loss of their language and traditional attire.

Furthermore

this

trend exacerbates the situation for those who remain in rural

areas

. Governments and investors are less inclined to allocate budgets for facilities in low-population

areas

For example

, some rural regions in Britain lack adequate public transportation and recreational facilities because it is not profitable for businesses to operate there

due to

low demand. In conclusion, from my point of view, increased

migration

cities

poses several significant problems, including workforce shortages in rural

areas

, rising

food

costs, the loss of cultural traditions, and deteriorating living conditions for those who choose to remain in the countryside. It is crucial to address these issues to ensure balanced and sustainable development across both urban and rural regions.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Aug 13 2023

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task achievement

Try to incorporate more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each main point is clearly connected to the thesis statement to enhance unity.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively introduces the topic and presents a clear stance.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a well-structured conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis.

task achievement

The main points are supported with relevant explanations and examples, contributing to a thorough discussion of the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

rural-to-urban migration
population shift
positive impact
negative impact
urbanization
job opportunities
access to education
access to healthcare
urban infrastructure
rural traditions
cultural heritage

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More and more students are choosing to study at college and universities in foreign countries. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places to learn about the culture.We can learn as much as from books, films, and the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

A city should try to preserve its old, historic buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?