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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Gaining an ability to manage money is one of the most important parts of a life of an adult's life. In this essay keeping a financial account and generating passive income will be discussed.

#ability #money #parts #life #adult #account #income
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Gaining
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to manage money is one of the most important parts of a life of an adult's life. In
this
 essay keeping a financial account and generating passive income will be discussed.
Firstly
, an individual can keep track of their current
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 and plan
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ahead.
For example
, a person may make a spreadsheet and add
expences
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 on shopping, taxes, car maintenance and much more. Afterwards, they can make a plan on how much to spend on each of the things listed there: 500$ on taxes, 300$ on food, 400$ on clothing, etc.
This
 may help the adult to avoid overspending on any particular type of service or goods,
hence
, the likelihood of needing to take a debt may decrease, as there will be enough to spend on something spontaneous and urgent,
for instance
, on a medical bill from breaking one of the legs.
Therefore
, the financial outcome will probably end up being better if
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 accounted
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
Secondly
, earned money can be multiplied by itself if put in the right place. Fortunately, there are many ways to do
this
.
For instance
, the cash can be deposited in a bank that adds
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
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 several per
cents
Fix the agreement mistake
cent
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 each year to the current balance,
thus
, generating an income that does not require one to work at all.
Hence
, the money can be raised more effectively.
Consequently
, the individual may resist
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
inflation, which,
for example
, has magnified the price of a milk bottle from 1$ to 1.5$ in
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 5 years,
thus
, making a 1000$ unable to buy a thousand bottles anymore.
Overall
, using both of these methods will be beneficial for making the most of
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
 income, because importing them into a lifestyle together will not cancel out the benefits of each other.
Submitted by alexander.vectorgs on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and distinct, summarizing your main points effectively. Avoid unnecessary repetition or redundancy in stating the importance of financial management.
logical structure
Develop a more sophisticated logical structure by creating clearer transitions and connections between your ideas. Use varied sentence structures and paragraphing to enhance readability and flow of your essay.
supported main points
Support your main points with detailed and pertinent examples. Be careful to expand and explain each point sufficiently, rather than merely stating them.
complete response
Address all parts of the task ensuring that you fully answer the question. Make sure to elaborate on your ideas to give a more comprehensive discussion of the topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas more comprehensively. Each paragraph should be focused on a single main idea with clear explanations and examples.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Ensure these examples clearly relate to the topic and support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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