Today, more people than ever are travelling around the world. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #world #development

Nowadays, worldwide travelling is becoming more and more popular. It is generally agreed that people go on holiday more frequently, and that has never happened before. I think it’s reasonable to say that

this

situation could have many upsides. Touristy has a positive impact on travellers.

Firstly

, getting in touch with new societies helps to broaden people’s minds.

For instance

, it allows them to experience new lifestyles and traditions.

In addition

, travelling abroad permits tourists to discover different languages, cultures and histories. Thanks to that, it is possible to achieve practical knowledge without studying from books.

Furthermore

, travelling can reduce stress through various mechanisms, providing a break from the routine.

As a result

, once individuals come back home, they are not only more educated but

also

more relaxed. Many say that

tourism

could have a good effect on economics too. In the first place, travelling contributes to the growth of several nations and local economies.

For example

, governments invest more in infrastructures,

such

as airpods, roads and hotels.

Moreover

tourism

creates many employment opportunities, because it needs more qualified people in different sectors, including transportation and services.

Lastly

tourism

can incentivise the preservation of the cultural and natural heritage. That’s because local communities recognize the importance of historical sites and traditions, mostly for

tourism

purposes. In conclusion, the significant rise of touristy offers countless benefits, both to the local community and travellers. I strongly believe that travelling provides a unique opportunity for personal growth since it permits people to expand their horizons. In my opinion,

tourism

boosts the economy and provides job creation too.

Submitted by trrapmala on Mon Nov 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure all main points are effectively supported with clear examples or explanations to strengthen arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay should maintain logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs must be well-connected through cohesive devices.

coherence cohesion

Include a clear introduction and conclusion, with the conclusion effectively summarising the essay's key points.

task achievement

Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring your position is clear throughout, and each point contributes to the overall argument or purpose of the essay.

task achievement

Develop ideas comprehensively by providing specific, relevant examples that clearly support the main points being discussed.

task achievement

Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes to improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay. In your essay, it would be 'Tourism' instead of 'Touristy' and 'airports' instead of 'airpods'.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, more people than ever are travelling around the world. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

some people think that to be successful you need to get University education whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think the government should provide free housing, while others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?