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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today, more people than ever are travelling around the world. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, worldwide travelling is becoming more and more popular. It is generally agreed that people go on holiday more frequently, and that has never happened before. I think it’s reasonable to say that
this
 situation could have many upsides. Touristy has a positive impact on travellers.
Firstly
, getting in touch with new societies helps to broaden people’s minds.
For instance
, it allows them to experience new lifestyles and traditions.
In addition
, travelling abroad permits tourists to discover different languages, cultures and histories. Thanks to that, it is possible to achieve practical knowledge without studying from books.
Furthermore
, travelling can reduce stress through various mechanisms, providing a break from the routine.
As a result
, once individuals come back home, they are not only more educated but
also
 more relaxed. Many say that
tourism
 could have a good effect on economics too. In the first place, travelling contributes to the growth of several nations and local economies.
For example
, governments invest more in infrastructures,
such
 as airpods, roads and hotels.
Moreover
,
tourism
 creates many employment opportunities, because it needs more qualified people in different sectors, including transportation and services.
Lastly
,
tourism
 can incentivise the preservation of the cultural and natural heritage. That’s because local communities recognize the importance of historical sites and traditions, mostly for
tourism
 purposes. In conclusion, the significant rise of touristy offers countless benefits, both to the local community and travellers. I strongly believe that travelling provides a unique opportunity for personal growth since it permits people to expand their horizons. In my opinion,
tourism
 boosts the economy and provides job creation too.
Submitted by trrapmala on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are effectively supported with clear examples or explanations to strengthen arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay should maintain logical sequencing of ideas and paragraphs must be well-connected through cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion, with the conclusion effectively summarising the essay's key points.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring your position is clear throughout, and each point contributes to the overall argument or purpose of the essay.
task achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by providing specific, relevant examples that clearly support the main points being discussed.
task achievement
Avoid spelling and grammar mistakes to improve the clarity and professionalism of your essay. In your essay, it would be 'Tourism' instead of 'Touristy' and 'airports' instead of 'airpods'.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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