Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women.

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Some people believe that in general males are more competitive than females.

However

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, I strongly disagree with

this

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statement. In my own opinion, I think that it depends on type of the

competition

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First,

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men

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have a physical advantage over

women

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Men

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's body structures are naturally stronger than

women

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's.

For

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this

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reason, in competitions that use strength,

men

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will be able to do better than

women

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For example

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, in almost every type of sports

competition

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, there is a clear separation of genders in the

competition

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On the other hand

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women

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have much better senses than

men

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For example

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, many couples found the problem that the man cannot distinguish the shade of lipstick for his lover.

That is

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because

women

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can generally distinguish more than 200 shades,

while

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men

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can distinguish only less than 100 shades.

Therefore

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, if it is a battle of senses or sensitivity,

men

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will have a hard time competing with

women

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In addition

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, in terms of academics or learning,

gender

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may have a slight effect on education, with

men

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's brains able to calculate faster than

women

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's,

while

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women

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's brains are better at remembering things.

However

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, the natural

gender

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of the brain does not mean that there is each

gender

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is more intelligent. Intelligence largely depends on diligence. In conclusion, from the reasons mentioned above, the physical body and brain function of each

gender

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are different, causing a slight advantage or disadvantage to each

gender

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during

competition

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However

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that is

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a small part compared to diligence and effort.

juthy2Mon Nov 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure, making your ideas easy to follow for the reader. Aim to have a simple and clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement and conclude with a summary of your main points, reiterating your position. Make sure your introduction and conclusion are concise, relevant, and impactful.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with concrete examples, facts, or studies to strengthen your argument. Avoid making general statements without evidence backing them up.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task by ensuring that your response fully answers the question. Develop your ideas with clear, detailed explanations and examples.

task achievement

Present your ideas clearly, making sure each paragraph contains a central idea that is developed comprehensively within the paragraph itself.

task achievement

Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. If the question alleges general assumptions, attempt to provide both general and personal examples where possible to demonstrate understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

250 words

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Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In most countries, the crime rate is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why you do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local costum and behavior others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural difference Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and the governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Economic progress is one way to measure the success of one country, While some people think there are other factors. what other factors should be considers ? Within these factors, do you think anyone is more important than the others ?