Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women.

#people #men #women

Some people believe that in general males are more competitive than females.

However

, I strongly disagree with

this

statement. In my own opinion, I think that it depends on type of the

competition

First,

men

have a physical advantage over

women

Men

's body structures are naturally stronger than

women

's.

For

this

reason, in competitions that use strength,

men

will be able to do better than

women

For example

, in almost every type of sports

competition

, there is a clear separation of genders in the

competition

On the other hand

women

have much better senses than

men

For example

, many couples found the problem that the man cannot distinguish the shade of lipstick for his lover.

That is

because

women

can generally distinguish more than 200 shades,

while

men

can distinguish only less than 100 shades.

Therefore

, if it is a battle of senses or sensitivity,

men

will have a hard time competing with

women

In addition

, in terms of academics or learning,

gender

may have a slight effect on education, with

men

's brains able to calculate faster than

women

's,

while

women

's brains are better at remembering things.

However

, the natural

gender

of the brain does not mean that there is each

gender

is more intelligent. Intelligence largely depends on diligence. In conclusion, from the reasons mentioned above, the physical body and brain function of each

gender

are different, causing a slight advantage or disadvantage to each

gender

during

competition

However

that is

a small part compared to diligence and effort.

Submitted by juthy2 on Mon Nov 20 2023

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coherence cohesion

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coherence cohesion

Introduce your essay with a clear thesis statement and conclude with a summary of your main points, reiterating your position. Make sure your introduction and conclusion are concise, relevant, and impactful.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with concrete examples, facts, or studies to strengthen your argument. Avoid making general statements without evidence backing them up.

task achievement

Address all parts of the task by ensuring that your response fully answers the question. Develop your ideas with clear, detailed explanations and examples.

task achievement

Present your ideas clearly, making sure each paragraph contains a central idea that is developed comprehensively within the paragraph itself.

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Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. If the question alleges general assumptions, attempt to provide both general and personal examples where possible to demonstrate understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

250 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that men are naturally more competitive than women.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

•In large cities, the issue of overpopulation has been a significant cause of concern which leads to a lack of jobs and traffic congestion. What is the cause of this? How can government help in solving this problem? 1. High burn rates

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some people thinks it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them, Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagrees with them.