IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

73.The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

73.The map below shows a park and its surroundings in 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The diagram
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the changes made in a public
park
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and now
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the present year 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
seems
Correct subject-verb agreement
seem
show examples
 to be a couple of changes in the current
park
Use synonyms
 from the previous one. Looking at the
park
Use synonyms
 constructed in 1980 , flowers
are occupying
Wrong verb form
occupy
show examples
 the ground majorly across the
park
Use synonyms
. Next
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
show examples
 the flowers down the
south-west
Correct your spelling
southwest
show examples
 corner a little above, the benches and ponds are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 display.
However
Linking Words
, in the present
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 map flowers are replaced by bushes in the same location.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the gates are absent in today's garden.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, observing the maps the whole of
east
Correct article usage
the east
show examples
 side has been drastically changed. In the year 2000, half of the
park
Use synonyms
 is having
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 new variations
such
Linking Words
 as barbecue, chairs, desks , and trees.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, trees continue to appear in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
years
Change to a genitive case
year's
years'
show examples
 picture.
Linking Words
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end, the
south - east
Add a hyphen
south-east
show examples
 part has a playground when compared
1980
Change preposition
to 1980
show examples
 which has a flower pit.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pond
  • northwest corner
  • large central open area
  • residential areas
  • community-oriented space
  • playground
  • eastern border
  • parking lot
  • convenience
  • commercial zone
  • amenities
  • walking path
  • encircles
  • joggers
  • accessible
  • entrances
What to do next:
Look at other essays: