Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Some individuals believe that the right

place

to teach

children

how to become good citizens is the

school

while

others argue that

parents

should be the ones responsible for that.

Although

parents

might influence their

children

more than anyone else, I believe that educational institutions are more trained and properly equipped to teach

children

how to become successful members of the community.

Parents

have the biggest impact on their kids.

This

is due

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

fact that

children

spend most of

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

with their mothers and fathers which dramatically influences the way kids act and think. If

parents

behave well and have an example of healthy habits,

children

will directly imitate them.

This

confirms the fact that no one might exert

such

a strong influence on their

children

For instance

, a study in Britain showed that

children

are two times more influenced by their

parents

than their teachers.

However

, I strongly believe that

this

is not enough and that

school

should be the

place

teaching

children

to become

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good people in society. Schools are trained

how

Change preposition

on how

show examples

to build a good citizen. Teachers spent their undergraduate years studying how to deal with

children

and train them to become better individuals in their communities.

For

this

reason, educational institutions should be the

place

where

children

can safely acquire the needed behaviours to become better individuals in the future.

For example

, a recent study in the USA showed that 90% of schools train teachers how to help students to become better citizens.

For

this

reason, I believe that the best

place

to do

this

is the

school

. In conclusion,

although

parents

have a strong influence on their

children

, I believe that the best

place

to create better citizens is the

school

because tutors are trained to do that.

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task achievement

You have presented a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a consistent opinion throughout the essay. To improve, ensure that your opinion is stated in the introduction to set the context for your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay shows a good logical structure with a clear progression of ideas. However, you could enhance your score further by using a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to separate and emphasise your main points more clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe that universities should only offer places to students with high marks, while others believe that people of all ages should be allowed even if they do not well in school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. Do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a moral necessity today for the richer countries of the world to help the poorer countries develop in terms of feeding the population, education and health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger.Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do you support this development?