It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centers and only bicycles be allowed insted. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Undoubtedly, in
this
modern era, a number of modification
Fix the agreement mistake
modifications
has been
taken place in Wrong verb form
have
this
nation. Therefore
, some people
believe that cars
and public transport
vehicles such
as bus
, trains and Fix the agreement mistake
buses
other
should be banned from cities and Fix the agreement mistake
others
people
should use only bicycles. I partially agree with this
statement owing to some crucial reasons which I will hashout
in my Correct your spelling
hash out
shout
further
paragraphs.
For a start, several factors are associated with it, but the main is
that with Correct pronoun usage
one is
the
higher Correct article usage
apply
pollution
. To explain, with the advanced transportation system 90 percent
of Change the spelling
per cent
people
have their own cars
and they traveled
Wrong verb form
travel
to
one place to another with the help of Change preposition
from
cars
which is time saving
and Add a hyphen
time-saving
fastest
means of transportation. Correct article usage
the fastest
Apart from
this
, majority
of Correct article usage
the majority
people
prefer to travel
through public transport
for
balance their budget. To illustrate it more, Change preposition
to
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
people
do not
afford Verb problem
cannot
cars
because of the high amount so, they
prefer to Rephrase
so they
travel
in
public Change preposition
by
transport
.
Moving further
, there are some reasons why cars
and public transport
should be banned and people
should use bicycles. First and foremost, nowadays every one
is suffering from breathing problems Replace the word
everyone
due to
high
amount of Correct article usage
a high
pollution
as well noise pollution
is also
at alarming
rate Add an article
an alarming
due to
traffic jams, horn
and other. Fix the agreement mistake
horns
Moreover
, if vehicle's
Change the noun form
vehicles
vehicle
should be
banned from Wrong verb form
are
city
, more Add an article
the city
people
use bicycles to travel
and they also
stay fit while
riding it because scientists believe that cycling is best
exercise to reduce weight and maintain Change the article
the best
the
health.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
apply
although
bycycle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
pollution
and good exercise to maintain weight, but
Remove the conjunction
apply
cars
and public transports are more beneficial in this
busy life because number
of Change the article
a number
the number
people
travel
to their work place
in a hurry.Correct your spelling
workplace
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coherence cohesion
For a higher IELTS score, it is crucial to organize your essay in a clear and logical manner. Your essay does contain an introduction and conclusion, which is positive. However, the body paragraphs need better organization to enhance the clarity of the argument. Make sure each paragraph deals with a single idea, and use linking words effectively to show the relationships between ideas.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the prompt, but the extent of your agreement or disagreement is not consistently clear. You must directly address the question throughout the essay. Include a clear thesis statement in your introduction that reflects your stance, and ensure that each paragraph supports this position. Provide more specific examples to better illustrate your points. It is also important to discuss both sides of the argument if you are taking a partial stance.
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