Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities . others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that others measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sports materials are considered tools for increasing public fitness.
Therefore
, some communities have suggested increasing the number of play machinery, while
others believe other measures are necessary because the effect of play equipment on public strength is not so much. I discuss these both views and represent my viewpoint. On one hand, sport is one of the most important tools for increasing or gaining vigour because due to
various kinds of movement and practice such
as running, jumping,walking or dancing, the heart system and the vessel systems improve. In addition
, the spirit and mentality of society improve through hobby practices which increases the mental agility of athletes. Due to
these arguments, some crowd think increasing fun appliances encourages the community to do entertainment which is helpful for their well-being condition. On the other hand
, there are different factors which increase energy including healthy food, enough sleep, a free mind, peace of mind, lack of financial obstacles, lack of social dilemma, etc. For example
, a woman who fights with her husband to buy her required equipment such
as a golden ring, has a social and financial problem which results in a lack of enough
sleep. Even if she attends clubs, her mind is not free of dispute which results in bad mental complications for her. Correct determiner usage
apply
Therefore
, enjoyment tools do not play a unique role in providing her practice. In conclusion, I believe that other measures are required to increase public robustness because increasing the number of play outfits is not a unique way. There are various factors which impact health, including enough sleep, healthy food, happiness and fun.Submitted by nasringoli.psycolohist on
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Task Achievement
Task Achievement: Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Your essay should cover both views presented, as well as your own opinion, in equal measure. Providing specific examples to support your arguments can strengthen your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Organize your ideas in a clear, logical manner. Use cohesive devices (however, furthermore, for example) to link your ideas and paragraphs. Work on paragraph division to ensure each one presents a single main idea.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
