writing an opinion essay about the question is waste of time watching television?

Nowadays, life offers us several possibilities for almost everything, but our time remains a constant, finite resource. Once it is gone, it never comes back.
Therefore
, it is essential to strike a delicate balance between the demands of our professional and academic
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
,
as well as
our other commitments
while
also
creating time for leisure activities. In my opinion,
television
is a great way to unwind and relax, it is not worthless.
Television
listings are an inexhaustible source of entertainment and enrichment for all sorts of interests. Whether you want to improve your culinary skills, learn about a new culture, do some exercises, or simply escape for a different world for a
while
, there is a channel out there for you.
Furthermore
, TV is available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. If the weather is bad, we can simply curl up on the couch with our loved ones and create amazing moments. No matter when we can enjoy it at our convenience. Whether early morning or in the middle of the night, we will find something to watch.
While
television
can be a fountain of entertainment and relaxation, some argue that its drawbacks outweigh its benefits. Critics point to the passive nature of
television
viewing can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and increase health problems
such
as obesity and cardiovascular diseases.
Moreover
, constant exposure to the TV simulating contents can negatively impact cognitive development, particularly in younger viewers, by reducing the attention span and hindering the ability to focus on tasks. In conclusion,
while
recognizing the concerns about the potential risks, I firmly maintain that
this
judicious integration of
this
form of entertainment into our lives can yield educational, recreational, and social benefits. Striking a mindful balance and making informed choices empower us to harness the positive aspects of TV,
thus
enriching our
overall
well-being and quality of life.
Submitted by bsb.roberta on

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coherence cohesion
You've presented your viewpoints effectively with a logical structure, but strive for more nuanced transitions and linking phrases to enhance the essay's flow. Ensure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to reinforce coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, which is commendable. However, working on a stronger thesis statement and more impactful concluding remarks could elevate your essay even further.
coherence cohesion
You've supported your main points fairly well, but there is room for improvement in providing more concrete examples and evidence to back up your arguments, which would strengthen the essay's persuasive power.
task achievement
Your response to the task is complete, but to achieve a higher score, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. You might improve this by debating the opposing view more thoroughly to demonstrate a balanced consideration of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, which is good, but remember that the inclusion of finer details and a more thorough analysis could lead to a richer and more substantial essay.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples but could benefit from including more specific and varied instances to support your arguments. Whenever possible, use real-world examples, studies, or statistics to add depth to your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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