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In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problem as a result of eating to much fast food. It is neccesary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#countries #people #health #food #neccesary #governments #tax
Elevating
taxes
 on junk
food
 to alleviate health issues is an arguable debate subject, with advocating an increase as the best variant. I drastically opine that governments should take financial actions to curb these problems. The first and foremost argument is that eating too much fast
food
 might open an irreversible door to deteriorating to death. Put simply, excessive consumption of junk
food
 has malicious effects on our physical vitality and cognition. Several research studies have already proved that there was a link between unhealthy diet and obesity.
For instance
, Japan has eliminated fast
food
 from its cuisine for 10 years
while
 swapping unhealthy ones
such
 as hamburgers and
tosts
Correct your spelling
toasts
costs
tests
 with a balanced diet that generally consists of rice and macaroni. So, it is unavoidable to deter
people
 from these types of foods by increasing
taxes
 locally. Another concern is that an increasing number of fat
people
 is an issue for any country because it might lead to a fragile community for the future
while
 taking children who are influenced by their parents into account. To explain, a population that has 80 per cent of obese
people
 can not be successful in the areas which require a fit and vigorous body. Eventually, it is unavoidable to have a cavity in these fields because of a lack of fit
people
, and
then
 elevating
taxes
 on foods to stay fit is a substantial choice.
To conclude
, despite concerns about
taxes
 on junk
food
, alienating
people
 from fast
food
 to mitigate detrimental health issues is indispensable.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that main ideas are clearly and logically presented throughout the essay, with each paragraph having a clear central topic that is expanded upon with supporting information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but consider refining them to more precisely introduce the topic and summarize the main points with a definitive stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific and detailed examples, references, or data to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the question and presented a clear opinion, ensuring a complete response to the task. Continue to develop your points fully and stay on topic throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive. To further improve, work on connecting these ideas more seamlessly, and ensure that each paragraph adds to the overall argument of the essay.
Task Achievement
Include more relevant, specific examples to support each point. More detailed and specific examples demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and can enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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