Some people encourage young children to leave their parents' house as soon as they become adults while others say children should stay at their parents' house as long as possible.

Although
, many
people
inspire
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
generation to leave their
parents
' home as soon as they become mature
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
others think
children
should not take leave their
parents
' house as long as possible. I agree with
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
view
because after becoming adults
children
should not just leave their
parents
due to
their
parents
may need their help and they are
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
ones who support them by all means. On the one hand, teenagers are being encouraged by some
people
to leave their
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
apartment and
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
some
people
believe that point of
view
, by reason of after getting older young ones have to be freedom and start a new life for themselves.
According to
some
people
,
with
Change preposition
without
show examples
their
parents
Add a comma
parents,
show examples
they will not be able to act independently,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Change the word
their
show examples
parents
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
may be
obstacle
Add an article
an obstacle
show examples
for them.
On the other hand
, as claimed by other
people
children
should not say goodbye to life in
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
home
as a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, it is their turn to look after their
parents
when they get older
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since their
parents
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always support their kids and try to give
then
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
direction of their ways.
This
is unfairness just leave them alone when they get old and need help. So , I agree with
this
view
. In conclusion, in my
view
, leaving
parents
when old and looking after them is not true. Some consider when
children
become adults they ought to leave their
parents
Change noun form
parent's
parents'
show examples
hall
while
others think mature teenagers should not leave their
parents
behind.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Support main points with clear explanations and relevant examples. Each paragraph should have a central idea that is expanded upon with evidence and analysis.
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task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be relevant and strengthen your position on the topic.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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