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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that it's better for children to go to boarding school, while others think that they should go to day school and stay with their parents.

#people #children #school #parents
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Some people argue that boarding
schools
 provide more benefits for
children
 by enhancing their independence and academic performance. Others believe that
day
schools
, which allow
children
 to live with their families, are more suitable for their
overall
 development.
This
 essay will discuss both views and explain why I believe
day
schools
 are more beneficial. Boarding
schools
 are often praised for their intensive academic environment and the opportunities they provide for
children
 to become independent.
For example
, students in boarding
schools
 are required to manage their daily routines, which can help them develop time management and organisational skills.
Additionally
, boarding
schools
 encourage social interaction, as students live and study together, fostering strong friendships.
However
, living away from parents might result in emotional challenges, as some
children
 may feel isolated or homesick.
In contrast
,
day
schools
 allow
children
 to maintain a healthy balance between their studies and personal interests. By returning home after school,
children
 can engage in family activities, which helps strengthen their emotional bonds and provides them with a sense of security.
Furthermore
,
day
schools
 enable
children
 to pursue hobbies or extracurricular activities that might not be available in a boarding school setting.
However
, one potential drawback is that
day
schools
 may lack the structured academic support that boarding
schools
 offer. In conclusion,
while
 boarding
schools
 can promote independence and academic excellence,
day
schools
 provide a more balanced approach to education and personal development.
Therefore
, I believe that
day
schools
 are more beneficial for most
children
, as they allow them to grow academically
while
 maintaining strong family relationships.
Submitted by bkalmutairi01 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider providing more specific examples for both points of view discussed. This adds depth and relevance to your arguments.
task achievement
When discussing the advantages and drawbacks more thoroughly, elaborate on the potential emotional challenges at boarding schools. This will strengthen the persuasive capability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Despite the good structure, ensure that there's a seamless flow between ideas for greater clarity. You can use additional linking words and phrases to achieve more coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a solid introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a concise conclusion. This enhances the clarity and readability of your argumentation.
task achievement
Your essay showcases a balanced approach to the topic, considering both advantages and disadvantages of boarding and day schools. This demonstrates the ability to evaluate both sides impartially.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Boarding school
  • Day school
  • Parental involvement
  • Independence
  • Responsibility
  • Social skills
  • Academic outcomes
  • Facilities
  • Community environment
  • Family bonds
  • Emotional support
  • Cost implications
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Diverse backgrounds
  • Parental oversight
What to do next:
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