Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, it is imperative for youngsters to be good members of the community.
While
few people believe
parents
should be the primary source to educate their offspring for a better humankind, others think that school is the ideal place to be a good citizen. I believe the former has more precedence in
this
matter
due to
social reasons.
Children
spend most of their time with their
parents
as they are growing up. Guardians are the major source to raise their kid's upbringing and set up moral
values
.
Additionally
, a lot of information is being taught to kids so that they can prepare themselves for the outer world. Not only that, life experiences help
children
to learn more as they can easily relate to the situations.
Parents
can
also
have regular discussions with their dependents to understand their mindset and provide feedback if they sense unalignment in their perspective.
Conversely
, schools are considered epic
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
to gain
Change preposition
for gaining
show examples
knowledge and set up foundations. These traits nourish
children
to grow financially in the society, that widens the options to build a better world.
For instance
, ethical
values
and punctuality help them to adhere to the expectations required by the organizations.
Moreover
, they can understand the
values
of relationships in their class as they are surrounded by other classmates who may have unsimilar opinions and thinking.
To conclude
, I believe that joint efforts from
parents
and schools can create an ecosystem where
children
learn, at a young age, to be superior people in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
. The primary goal is to provide, the right education
as well as
moral and ethical
values
.
Submitted by anmolkashyap68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay clearly addresses both views and provides your own opinion, some points could be expanded further to provide a more comprehensive argument. Specifically, offering more specific examples and developing your points with greater detail would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs. However, try to improve the flow of your arguments between paragraphs by using transition phrases and ensuring that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each of your main points is strongly supported with relevant and specific examples. This will not only make your argument more convincing but also show your understanding of the topic in depth.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which succinctly state and reiterate your main argument.
task achievement
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic and effectively discusses both viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!