Increasingly, many governments around the world are choosing to provide greater funding for scientific and technological development rather than investing in arts and culture. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#governments #world #development #arts #culture

Nowadays,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

governments prefer to invest in the fields of science and technology and ignore the importance of the

arts

and

culture

. Personally, I think

this

choice could have a negative influence on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, and the following content will list the reasons.

Arts

and

culture

are the way to express

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

feeling

Fix the agreement mistake

feelings

show examples

and release

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pressure.

While

the community only focus on the practical and efficient usage of the profession, most of them will neglect the mental aspect,

therefore

, many of

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

them accumulate the pressure and

finally

cause psychological diseases.

For instance

, during the

lock down

Correct your spelling

lockdown

show examples

, plenty of workers suffered from mental illness because they couldn’t find a way to relax, so several psychologists suggested

people

Remove the particle

apply

show examples

learn about

arts

which can assist

people

to release their accumulated stress. The various kinds of

arts

and

culture

build

this

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

world. If there is a nation which only

focus

Change the verb form

focuses

show examples

on practical profession and

develop

Change the verb form

develops

show examples

nothing about the

culture

, it could become a boring and stressful place

for living

Change preposition

to live

show examples

Culture

deeply

Add a missing verb

is deeply

show examples

roots in

people

’s lives,

for example

, the foods, clothes and festivals, all of these elements create

people

’s

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

lives.

Furthermore

, unique

culture

and

arts

can not only make

people

’s lives more interesting but

also

the governments can get benefits from tourism. In conclusion,

the

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apply

show examples

culture

and

arts

can make

people

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

Change the article

show examples

exciting lifestyle and maintain

the

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apply

show examples

psychological health for the

people

hence

, these are the main reasons for me to financially support the development in these fields.

Submitted by chaoweikevin on Tue Nov 21 2023

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the other. Transitions can be used more effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs, creating a more coherent argument.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Increasingly, many governments around the world are choosing to provide greater funding for scientific and technological development rather than investing in arts and culture. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Word Count

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