IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that advertising encourages people to buy unnecessary products. Others say it helps people make better purchase decisions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Advertising is everywhere in our daily lives, from TV commercials to online
ads
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. Some
people
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 think advertising makes us buy
things
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 we don't need,
while
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 others believe it helps us make smarter shopping choices. Both opinions have good points, but I think advertising can be both helpful and misleading. On one side, advertising often makes
people
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 buy unnecessary
things
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. Companies use clever techniques to make their products seem very attractive.
For example
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, many fast food
ads
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 show delicious-looking burgers that make
people
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 hungry, even when they're not.
Children
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Children,
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especially
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especially,
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 are easily influenced by toy commercials and often beg their parents to buy them
things
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 they don't really need. Some
ads
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 even make
people
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 feel bad about themselves if they don't buy certain beauty or fashion products. On the other
side
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hand
show examples
, advertising can provide useful information that helps shoppers. When
people
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 need to buy something important
like
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, like
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 a refrigerator or a car,
ads
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 can help them compare different brands and features. Supermarket flyers showing weekly sales help families save money on groceries.
Also
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, public service announcements are a type of advertising that gives
people
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 important health and safety information. In my opinion, advertising has both good and bad effects. The problem is not advertising itself, but how companies use it. Some
ads
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 trick
people
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 into buying useless
things
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,
while
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 others give honest information. Consumers need to be careful and think critically about
ads
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instead
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 of believing everything they see. Schools should teach children how to understand advertising so they can make better choices when they grow up. In conclusion,
while
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 advertising can sometimes encourage unnecessary spending, it
also
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 helps
people
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 make informed decisions. The key is for consumers to be smart about the
ads
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 they see and for companies to be more honest in their advertising.

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task response
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
task response
Add more specific examples to support your points, especially regarding advertising helping decisions.
coherence and cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points well.
task response
Balanced view of both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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