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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many adults think that childhood and schooldays are the best years of a person's life. That is reason for this? do you agree or disgree

#adults #childhood #schooldays #years #person #life #reason #disgree
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Undoubtedly,
Use synonyms
childhood
Correct article usage
the childhood
show examples
 period is
golden
Add an article
the golden
a golden
show examples
 period of
life
Use synonyms
. Some individuals have the belief that
childhood
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 is the golden
time
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I
accord
Verb problem
agree
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 assertion completely. In
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 composition, I will elaborate more
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
Linking Words
 in detail. To commence with, various reasons could be shown to prove my perception. First of all, freedom from financial burden and
that is
Linking Words
 what makes
life
Use synonyms
 of a person convenient. In detail, as a teenager financial reliability is completely on guardians and children have no sense of responsibility regarding house mortgage, groceries and buying
apparels
Fix the agreement mistake
apparel
show examples
 and the only job they need to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
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 is doing academic study and sleeping well.
Additionally
Linking Words
, innocence and lack of shyness during
early
Correct article usage
an early
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 age
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 more favorable because kids have no knowledge of getting shamed and they perform with confidence in society.
For instance
Linking Words
,
generally
Add a comma
generally,
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 it can be seen that
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
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 are more confident and willing
of participating
Change preposition
to participate
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 in co-curriculum activities during academic years as compared to university years.
Hence
Linking Words
, innocence and lack of sense of responsibility
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
easy
Correct article usage
an easy
show examples
 path
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
Use synonyms
. Except
this
Linking Words
, real and good friend
circle
Fix the agreement mistake
circles
show examples
 in
childhood
Use synonyms
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 as the cherry on top because
human-beings
Correct your spelling
human beings
show examples
 are social animals which means people need company in their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and as a
children
Correct the article-noun agreement
child
show examples
 making good friends is very easy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children receive unconditional love
whereas
Linking Words
, as an adult in order to receive love a person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to offer something in exchange. To exemplify,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ailments like depression can be only seen in adults and
this
Linking Words
 illness is caused by loneliness.
Thus
Linking Words
,
happy
Correct article usage
a happy
show examples
 friend circle can be found during
childhood
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
life
Use synonyms
 cannot be overlooked because
this
Linking Words
 phase of
life
Use synonyms
 has its own pros
such
Linking Words
 as decision-making independency and willingness to achieve things that you once dreamt about. Daily new challenges and struggles make
life
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worthy
Replace the word
worthwhile
show examples
 as you gather memories during
struggling
Add an article
the struggling
a struggling
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 period.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
mature
Correct article usage
a mature
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 has its own significance. To recapitulate, as per the aforementioned factors it can be concluded that without any doubt it can be said that adult
life
Use synonyms
 has
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 own significance in
life
Use synonyms
 but I personally feel that
childhood
Use synonyms
 is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by gill.g24 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in the introduction to directly address the essay prompt.
task achievement
Be specific and provide clear examples to support each point.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs with distinct main ideas and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them.
coherence cohesion
End the essay with a clear conclusion that summarises the main points and restates your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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