The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

As the world becomes well-adapted to globalization and modernization, crime rates are
also
soaring than never before which results in a drastic increase in the population in
prisons
. To diminish the rate of
crimes
in society, some argue that prison is the ultimate solution, and others contrarily, suggest that community
services
would be more appropriate. Both of the aforementioned will be discussed by elaborating on the negative sides involved with the influences that will be obtained in
prisons
and the moral benefits of social
services
. On one hand, some believe that captivity is the key to
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
crimes
. Indeed, capturing
criminals
and keeping them in a cramped room will not facilitate reducing the
crimes
. In opposite to that, individuals who went astray
due to
the circumstances would acquire exposure to the vast society inundated with crime lords.
This
environment even exacerbates the
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
who commit minor
crimes
.
For instance
, if an adolescent commits a little crime
such
as theft or a violation of road rules, he should be dealt with distinctly rather than placing him in jail. So that he could get an opportunity to become more obedient than before.
On the other hand
, community
services
will do better rather than keeping them in
prisons
. As mentioned earlier, individuals who committed
crimes
due to
their circumstances should be provided an opportunity to become
a persons
Correct the article-noun agreement
a person
persons
show examples
.
This
is where social
services
play a vital role. When
criminals
undergo social service,
such
as cleaning colleges, painting libraries, and other social service activities, they probably get a huge time to think about their mistakes and they realize to never make them again.
To conclude
,
although
prisons
are designed to house
criminals
, society should be more focused on mitigating the
crimes
.
This
can be achieved by deputing
criminals
who committed minor
crimes
to community
services
rather than putting them up in jails.
Submitted by harini93.ind on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear and logical structure throughout, with well-defined paragraphs that contain a clear main idea, supported by evidence or examples. Strive for a more coherent progression of ideas, using linking words and phrases effectively to guide the reader.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task equally and develop a balanced discussion for both views, providing clear and comprehensive presentations of both sides of the argument. Provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph and use specific, relevant examples to support arguments.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Retribution
  • Rehabilitation
  • Recidivism
  • Vocational training
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Sentencing
  • Offenders
  • Justice system
  • Community integration
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