IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Some people think that the problems caused by international tourism outweigh the benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industry #world #people
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International
tourism
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 has been increasing for many years.
People
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 argue that
this
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 causes many difficulties for individuals and countries. I totally disagree with
this
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 statement as international
tourism
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 has many advantages.
This
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 essay will explain the benefits of
people
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 coming from overseas to visit the
country
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 in the ensuing paragraphs.
People
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 coming from abroad benefit the
country
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 in many ways. First and foremost, it improves the economy of the
country
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. To travel overseas almost all countries ask for a visa to land and the visiting
country
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 charges for it.
This
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 charge goes to the government fund.
Additionally
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, the tax given overseas goes to the
country
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Secondly
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, local business gets profit.
People
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 from abroad spend money on hotels and food and they buy different stuff. Tourists who are interested in traditional products buy locally-made products.
For example
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, the Aranmula Mirror is one of the famous and traditional mirrors that are sold in
Kerala
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. Visitors coming to
Kerala
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 purchase the mirror as it is an antique product.
Thirdly
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, employment opportunity increases in the community. Locals can work as a guide and instruct tourists.
Moreover
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, local authorities can build restaurants, craft shops and so on. The women or men who are skilled or non-skilled can work there. To illustrate,
according to
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 the government of
Kerala
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, Kumarakom a famous backwater place in
Kerala
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 has been developed
due to
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tourism
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. International
tourism
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 can develop a
country
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.
To conclude
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, overseas
tourism
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 has many advantages, it provides
people
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 with jobs, increases the business of locals and helps a
country
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 financially.
Hence
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 the advantages of
tourism
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 outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by rinuthomasmathew07 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that you provide a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your argument effectively. The introduction could offer more nuanced perspectives rather than a straightforward agreement or disagreement. The conclusion should summarise the key points discussed in the essay without introducing entirely new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop main points with a diversity of sentence structures and paragraphing to ensure clarity and engagement. Use linking phrases or transitional words appropriately to connect ideas and paragraphs, aiding in the reader's understanding and flow of the essay.
Task Response
Address the prompt fully by discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree, and provide a balanced argument if possible. Make sure to include examples that are relevant and specific, and if possible, use statistics or real-world data to back up your arguments. Balance the discussion of benefits with potential drawbacks to meet the requirements of the task.
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