In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Today, in the world nothing is
impossiple
. sometimes the thinking of cultures Correct your spelling
impossible
are
different from other cultures. Some people can rely on Change the verb form
is
children
to acomplish
everything Correct your spelling
accomplish
while
others can not. In this
essy
, I will mention the advantages and Correct your spelling
essay
disadantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
about
making Change preposition
of
children
achive
everything.
In the beginning, there are a lot of advantages Correct your spelling
achieve
archive
if
making Change preposition
to
children
do it some working in the
real life. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, they make them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
self_reliant
without the interference of others. Correct your spelling
self-reliant
For example
, they become more capable of accomplishing things and this
make
Change the verb form
makes
children
stronger. Secondly
, through rely
on kids to Change preposition
by relying
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
working
or Replace the word
work
anythings
, Fix the agreement mistake
anything
the
knowledge and thinking will be improved because Change the word
their
the
awareness and skills will increase and know how to deal with Change the word
their
certain
Add an article
a certain
situation
.
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
On the other hand
, there are many negatives. The children
they
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
do
many mistakes when the family is not supervising them. Verb problem
make
For instance
, they could put themselves in danger because their mind is not yet fully developed. In addition
, if making child choose
his or her opinion in life without Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
discuss
with the family, in the future they can not control them.
In conclusion, the thinking is different from comity to another. Wrong verb form
discussing it
Children
could achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
archive
o r
help family but need to control and monitor them. Correct your spelling
or
Also
give them Add a comma
Also,
chance
to learn and applyCorrect article usage
a chance
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task achievement
Task achievement refers to the extent to which the essay fulfills the requirements of the task with relevant, extended and supported ideas. Your essay does address both advantages and disadvantages of the given statement, but the ideas are under-developed and lack clear, detailed examples. You should work on explaining your points more thoroughly and provide relevant, specific examples to support them.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion concern the overall clarity and fluency of the essay. The essay lacks a logical flow, and ideas are not clearly connected or paragraphed. Make use of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs. Introductions and conclusions should also summarize the main points effectively. Your spelling and grammar errors also hinder the clarity of your message. It's important to revise your essay to correct these issues and improve readability.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.