Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?

A clean and well-organised living environment is considered imperative for daily life. Some individuals believe that we should keep our living areas, both working and accommodation places, clean and tidy, and put everything in their precise location. I firmly agree with
this
claim, and I believe it is crucial for
well-scheduled
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a well-scheduled
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living experience. The intense impact of our surroundings on us is undeniable. The consequence of a tidy living place is the calmness of our mind. Indeed, we are able to make an
apropos
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
decision in a well-organised area. To give more credit to the debated topic, I should draw your attention to the new research of MIT University which shows our brains are five times more productive in a tidy place.
In other words
, a clean and organised environment for better thinking ability is considerable. On the flip side, some folks think it is a waste of
time
to keep our surroundings always clean.
Moreover
, their claim is, that cleaning and organising our living places can consume our valuable
time
each day.
However
, they don't consider the fact that, if they routinely put everything back in the correct location after each use, they are always able to keep the area tidy.
Hence
,
this
routine does not merely keep the surroundings clean but
also
can save us
time
in the long term. To clarify the idea, keeping our environment tidy should be assumed as a gradual and daily routine. In conclusion, a clean and organised living place is not only crucial for the better performance of our brains but
also
helps us to save
time
in different manners.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a range of linking words and cohesive devices to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. While you have some of these present, increasing the range and accuracy would improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
For task achievement, you've addressed the prompt fully with a complete response. Keep in mind to develop your main points further with more detailed examples and evidence for a higher score. While the reference to MIT research is good, it would be stronger to mention specific studies or data.
task achievement
Ideas are presented clearly, but there is room for more detailed development. Expand on your examples to show a deeper level of thought and to create a more comprehensive essay.
task achievement
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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • organised
  • clutter-free
  • productivity
  • mental clarity
  • efficiency
  • professionalism
  • first impressions
  • ergonomics
  • aesthetically pleasing
  • compulsive neatness
  • functional space
  • minimising distractions
  • systematic arrangement
  • time management
  • work-life balance
  • streamline
  • feng shui
  • optimal performance
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