The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is undoubtful that thanks to the Internet's rapid development, online
interaction
is taking the place of contact in person in
this
modern society. The main benefits of
this
phenomenon are the increase in
interaction
frequency and diversity,
while
the key drawbacks are harm to
relationship
bonds and not friendly for certain
people
who cannot use social
media
. On one hand,
this
form of
communication
leads to various consequences. To be specific, relying on contact with each other online lessens the rates of meeting with each other personally, which means it may have a negative impact on
relationship
bonds between friends and families.
For example
,
people
prefer to have dinner together on a regular basis as a way to show care for others, especially on anniversaries and festivals.
Moreover
, it is not friendly for those
people
who are not familiar with utilizing smart gadgets and the Internet,
due to
the gap, learning how to interact with friends and family members could occupy a large amount of time as they have to learn the methods first.
Consequently
, they may be unwilling to interact with others.
On the other hand
,
this
may be beneficial for
people
's
interaction
diversity.
This
is because using social
media
enriches
people
's choices of
communication
methods,
for example
, video chatting, voice chatting and text messages are the mainstream choices among
people
in China,
as well as
emoji
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, play an irreplaceable role in older
people
's lives especially those who live far away with their children.
In addition
, the frequency of
communication
will become higher, which means
people
can chat with others at any time and any place worldwide without geographic limitation. What is more, for those who suffer from social phobia,
this
brings more possibilities for them in terms of
communication
without face-to-face pressure.
Hence
, they could stay in their comfort zones
such
as at home to connect with the whole world without
relationship
pressure. In conclusion, as with anything in life, relying on contact on social
media
has its pros and cons.
Although
it would have negative effects on
relationship
bonds and those who are not familiar with smart devices, I strongly believe that social
media
enriches
people
's
interaction
and brings benefits to those who are living far away or have disorders.
Submitted by gaott0617 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, the body should provide well-organized paragraphs with one main idea each, and the conclusion should summarize the points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring that subsequent sentences support the topic sentence effectively. Use linking words and transitional phrases to create better flow between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Examples help illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing. Aim for at least one strong, detailed example per main point.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should clearly explain the advantages and disadvantages, and then provide a well-supported opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore the main idea in depth, using explanations, examples, and reasons to fully support your points. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your content.

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