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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The use of social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is undoubtful that thanks to the Internet's rapid development, online
interaction
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 is taking the place of contact in person in
this
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 modern society. The main benefits of
this
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 phenomenon are the increase in
interaction
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 frequency and diversity,
while
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 the key drawbacks are harm to
relationship
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 bonds and not friendly for certain
people
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 who cannot use social
media
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. On one hand,
this
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 form of
communication
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 leads to various consequences. To be specific, relying on contact with each other online lessens the rates of meeting with each other personally, which means it may have a negative impact on
relationship
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 bonds between friends and families.
For example
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,
people
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 prefer to have dinner together on a regular basis as a way to show care for others, especially on anniversaries and festivals.
Moreover
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, it is not friendly for those
people
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 who are not familiar with utilizing smart gadgets and the Internet,
due to
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 the gap, learning how to interact with friends and family members could occupy a large amount of time as they have to learn the methods first.
Consequently
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, they may be unwilling to interact with others.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 may be beneficial for
people
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's
interaction
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 diversity.
This
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 is because using social
media
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 enriches
people
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's choices of
communication
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 methods,
for example
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, video chatting, voice chatting and text messages are the mainstream choices among
people
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 in China,
as well as
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emoji
Fix the agreement mistake
emojis
show examples
, play an irreplaceable role in older
people
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's lives especially those who live far away with their children.
In addition
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, the frequency of
communication
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 will become higher, which means
people
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 can chat with others at any time and any place worldwide without geographic limitation. What is more, for those who suffer from social phobia,
this
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 brings more possibilities for them in terms of
communication
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 without face-to-face pressure.
Hence
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, they could stay in their comfort zones
such
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 as at home to connect with the whole world without
relationship
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 pressure. In conclusion, as with anything in life, relying on contact on social
media
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 has its pros and cons.
Although
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 it would have negative effects on
relationship
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 bonds and those who are not familiar with smart devices, I strongly believe that social
media
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 enriches
people
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's
interaction
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 and brings benefits to those who are living far away or have disorders.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should set the stage for the discussion, the body should provide well-organized paragraphs with one main idea each, and the conclusion should summarize the points and restate your position.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensuring that subsequent sentences support the topic sentence effectively. Use linking words and transitional phrases to create better flow between ideas.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. Examples help illustrate your points and make your arguments more convincing. Aim for at least one strong, detailed example per main point.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should clearly explain the advantages and disadvantages, and then provide a well-supported opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly. Each paragraph should explore the main idea in depth, using explanations, examples, and reasons to fully support your points. Aim for depth rather than breadth in your content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • interpersonal skills
  • virtual interactions
  • cyberbullying
  • social isolation
  • geographical limitations
  • digital communication
  • psychological impacts
  • online harassment
  • express themselves
  • diverse perspectives
  • overreliance
  • authenticity of relationships
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