Goverments around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. Do you agree or disagree?

Spending a high amount of
money
in support of
space
programs
rather than human health is an arguable debate subject, with advocating
space
programs
as vital ones. I firmly opine that governments should spend billions on improvements in astronomy
instead
of health
programs
. The first and foremost argument is that our sources are limited
while
taking an increasing number of
people
into account, and the Earth will fade into oblivion since it is a star. These issues are a harbinger to take certain actions
such
as exploring new planets. The planet might be an alternative to our world in terms of all aspects that
people
can live there. To cite an example, SpaceX and NASA spend more than 10 billion dollars every year on developments about
space
ships. Their efforts in
this
field are disparate and motivational in the face of these serious problems. Another concern is that investments in astronomy
instead
of the health sector can urge
people
, especially children to be much more interested in
this
field. Increasing interest might lead to emerging new challenges between
people
or organizations to achieve triumphs in
space
programs
. What is more, it is undeniable that the acceleration of exploring new planets by using high rivalries can be a hope for our salvages in the future.
For instance
, NASA allots
money
adequately to primary and high schools to flare up interest in
this
area.
To conclude
, despite concerns about spending
money
to support
space
programs
, it is unavoidable to acknowledge that governments should undertake responsibilities
such
as allocating
money
regards to astronomy.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

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task response
You failed to fully address the question. The task asked whether you agree or disagree with the idea that money spent on space programs would be better spent on health. Your essay must articulate your position on this specific point and offer clear reasons and examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and consistent organizational pattern with appropriate paragraphing. You should structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs that each contain one central idea with supporting details, and a conclusion. Use cohesive devices effectively to ensure a logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you fully develop your main points with relevant explanations and examples in each body paragraph. Expand on your arguments by explaining why you believe space exploration is crucial and provide concrete examples to strengthen your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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