In many places new homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the country side. Some people believe that it is more important to protect the country side and not build home there. What is your opinion?
Today,
people
are facing a problem in building a Use synonyms
house
. They need land to build a Use synonyms
house
so they try to choose the best part of the country. Use synonyms
People
must move to the Use synonyms
countryside
which still has open Use synonyms
areas
to build something. There are positive and negative aspects that are produced from Use synonyms
this
condition.
Nowadays, property agents always advertise apartments or hotels to Linking Words
people
in the urban Use synonyms
area
. It happens because of the limitation of the land itself. A lot of buildings are built in the urban Use synonyms
area
for office or public Use synonyms
areas
. Use synonyms
Then
, to tackle Linking Words
this
situation, they moved their residence Linking Words
area
to the Use synonyms
countryside
. Use synonyms
People
have to cut the forest to build houses. Sometimes, the price of building a Use synonyms
house
in a rural Use synonyms
area
is cheaper than in an urban Use synonyms
area
so Use synonyms
people
are interested in investing or creating their home. Use synonyms
Next,
living in the Linking Words
countryside
gives an opportunity to live with nature so Use synonyms
people
will be guaranteed by the fresh air.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are some activists who do not agree with Linking Words
this
policy because it is just damaging the environment. Many trees are cut down by the developers to build residential Linking Words
areas
. If Use synonyms
this
situation cannot be resolved, it has to be a serious problem. Linking Words
For instance
, the land without trees is not good enough to resist the water flow. Linking Words
As a result
, there will be catastrophic disasters Linking Words
such
as floods, erosion, and so on. Linking Words
Besides
, developers always use fire to clear the trees. Linking Words
This
method is not recommended because it will create wildfire and produce other problems.
To summarize, I agree with the Linking Words
countryside
Use synonyms
areas
that are used by Use synonyms
people
to build homes. In a polite way, developers or property agents should be aware of the environmental aspects of making the Use synonyms
countryside
become a residential Use synonyms
area
. They must not use hazardous materials and methods to cut the forests. In the end, I believe it will increase the opportunity for Use synonyms
people
to have a Use synonyms
house
.Use synonyms
Submitted by irhamtaufiqurrahman on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a more effective logical structure, as some points appear to be listed without clear connections or transitions. To improve, create stronger topic sentences and ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. Ensure that the introduction outlines your main points and the conclusion summarizes your opinion effectively without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
The supporting points in your main body paragraphs are relevant but lack depth. For higher marks, develop your points further with detailed explanations or examples.
task achievement
Your response answers the prompt, but it could be more complete. Showcase a thorough analysis of the topic by presenting a balanced argument with a clear stance throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant to the task, yet you need to express them more comprehensively. Wrap up your points by clearly stating why they are important and their implications or consequences.
task achievement
You provided examples, but make sure they are specific and directly relate to your arguments. Use real-life scenarios or hypothetical examples to demonstrate a clear understanding of the subject.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example