It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world

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A segment of the community argues that prioritizing local

history

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over global

history

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is more crucial.

However

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, I strongly disagree with

this

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assertion. Thanks to the rapid development of transportation and technology, we now inhabit a global village.

Consequently

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, I believe there is no clear distinction between global and local

history

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. First and foremost, studying

history

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aids

students

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in understanding their roots. Delving into the

history

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of their hometown may cultivate a sense of belonging.

Nevertheless

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, as global migration continues to rise, neglecting the teaching of global

history

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can leave many individuals, particularly migrants and their children, disconnected from their origins. Take Taiwan,

for example

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, where numerous workers from East-South Asia contribute to the workforce. It is imperative that their children have the opportunity to learn about their home countries even

while

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residing in Taiwan.

Secondly

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, it is undeniable that the histories between nations are interconnected. To gain a comprehensive understanding of their nation's

history

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students

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must delve into global

history

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to analyze it from a holistic perspective.

Moreover

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, in the era of globalization, it is essential for

students

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to be globally literate. Global

history

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provides valuable insights into diverse cultures and historical contexts that have collectively shaped today's interconnected world. Ignorance of these global narratives can perpetuate misunderstandings and stereotypes. In conclusion, the inseparable link between local and world

history

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underscores the equal importance of studying both for children. Schools must recognize and address the diverse backgrounds of

students

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from around the world, ensuring that they have the opportunity to learn about their own heritage

while

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also

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becoming globally literate. The interconnected nature of

history

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reinforces the notion that both local and global histories are integral components of a well-rounded education.

Submitted by vivian901014 on Wed Nov 22 2023

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Provide a clearer thesis statement that specifically outlines your position and preview the main points to be discussed.

task achievement

Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper analysis of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that paragraphs are well-organized and that each idea logically follows the previous one without losing focus on the main argument.

coherence cohesion

Employ a wider range of cohesive devices to demonstrate a higher level of fluency and text organization.

coherence cohesion

Develop a more impactful conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your position with a strong final statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Write about the following topic. Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement