IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The importance of academic subjects as compared to exrracurricular activities is increasing every day.Some people suggest that sports calsses should be sacrificed in high school so students can cincentrate on academic demic subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

The growing emphasis on academic achievement has led some people to argue that
sports
Use synonyms
 classes should be eliminated in high school so that
students
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 can focus entirely on academic
subjects
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.
While
Linking Words
 academic success is undoubtedly important, I strongly disagree with
this
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 view, as extracurricular activities—particularly
sports
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—play an essential role in
students
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’
overall
Linking Words
 development and academic performance.
Firstly
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, participation in
sports
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 contributes significantly to
students
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’ physical health and mental well-being, both of which are fundamental to effective learning. Regular physical activity improves concentration, reduces stress, and enhances memory, enabling
students
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 to perform better in academic
subjects
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. Without
sports
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 classes,
students
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 are more likely to experience fatigue, anxiety, and a lack of motivation, which can ultimately undermine their academic progress.
Moreover
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, extracurricular activities help
students
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 develop valuable life skills that cannot be acquired through academic study alone. Team
sports
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, teach cooperation, leadership, time management, and discipline—skills that are crucial for success in higher education and future careers. High school is a formative stage in which
students
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 should be encouraged to develop holistically rather than being judged solely on examination results. Admittedly, academic
subjects
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 form the foundation of intellectual development and are vital for university admission and professional opportunities.
However
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, prioritising academics at the expense of
sports
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 creates an imbalanced education system. A well-structured timetable can accommodate both academic learning and extracurricular activities without compromising either. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the importance of academic
subjects
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 continues to grow, sacrificing
sports
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 classes in high school would be a mistake. A balanced approach that values both academics and extracurricular activities is essential for nurturing healthy, well-rounded, and high-achieving
students
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Give a bit more clear proof to back up your point. A short fact or number can help.
coherence
style
Keep words simple and direct, and explain one idea in each paragraph.
content
Clear view and strong stance.
structure
Good layout with intro, body and ending.
coherence
Link words help the flow between ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • school
  • study
  • learn
  • subject
  • class
  • exam
  • grade
  • future
  • job
  • work
  • mind
  • think
  • idea
  • reason
  • plan
  • time
  • balance
  • health
  • body
  • sport
  • team
  • club
  • rule
  • policy
  • grow
  • need
  • keep
  • more
  • less
  • easy
  • hard
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