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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.

The table below gives information about the average annual spending of university students in three different countries.
The given table illustrates the data of the yearly spent on average of
students
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 in
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
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 in 3 countries namely A,
B
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 and
C
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the total spending of
country
Use synonyms
 A is higher than countries
B
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 and
C
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. The majority of
students
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 spend the highest percentage of
money
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 on accommodation and food.
In particular
Linking Words
, the total spending of university
students
Use synonyms
 is the highest at $5000 in
country
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 A, the second rank is
country
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B
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 with $4500 which is three times higher than that in
country
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C
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 with $1500. It is interesting to note that accommodation takes up 45% of the total
students
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’s spending,
while
Linking Words
 the percentages of
this
Linking Words
 in
country
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b
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 and
C
Use synonyms
 are 35% and 30% respectively. Regarding food, most
students
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 in
country
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C
Use synonyms
 spend their
money
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 on it accounting for 36%. the figures for
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 A and
B
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 are 22% and 28%
in
Change preposition
apply
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turn. The high percentage of
students
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 who spend
money
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 on books in
Country
Use synonyms
C
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 at 21%, which is seven times as high as
this
Linking Words
 figure in
Country
Use synonyms
 A, compared with 9% in
Country
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
B.
Correct your spelling
B
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 in terms of leisure,
While
Linking Words
Students
Use synonyms
 in
Country
Use synonyms
 A and
b
Use synonyms
 spend 22% and 23% respectively of their
money
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 on it,
students
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 in
country
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c
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 just spend only 12% of their total
money
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 on
this
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, b, c, country, money with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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