Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or negative development?

In today’s contemporary world, young

people

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are becoming very addicted towards technological

devices

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such

Linking Words

as smartphones. The usage of

this

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among children, especially is common and some of them are spending more

time

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on the

devices

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on a daily basis. I believe

this

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is certainly an obstructive development towards

kids

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. First of all, young generations are too into phones because of their immersive nature, which comes with various addictive features and applications

such

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as a selfie camera with funny filters, fun

games

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and more advanced settings like Siri with a captivating voice. These options often have unrealistically appealing visuals and colours, particularly in the

games

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, which lead to an unhealthy amount of addiction.

In addition

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, children being totally immersed in smart

devices

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also

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fueled largely by social media like Facebook and Instagram. In most household scenarios, they get exposed to socials because of their older siblings or sometimes even parents.

For example

Linking Words

, in some families, an older brother or sister of the kid is constantly being present online doing adult trends as everyone else and consistently updating the media audiences about their daily lives.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, the curiosity and interest in the fun of conducting

such

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an act will lead the younger ones to follow in the footsteps of their siblings, thereby causing them to spend more amount of

time

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on their

devices

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. In my opinion, there are only damaging outcomes for young

kids

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who are immersed in smartphones. Being on screen for an unreasonable duration distracts them from communicating with

people

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in real life, resulting in failure to develop interpersonal skills and potentially leading to self-isolation.

Moreover

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, with the presence of social applications, children will build strong relationships with

people

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online rather than with their family members and always look to hide in the room to avoid their parents from knowing.

Furthermore

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, the addiction towards

games

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being one of the significant causes for

kids

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to be on their phones constantly will hinder the development of cognitive and rational thinking.

This

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is because, the rules applied to the fun are not always sensible and may have inappropriate content,

for instance

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, violence and destruction.

As a result

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, they may apply those destructive behaviours in daily life, which will potentially be detrimental to the

people

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around them. In conclusion, there are many reasons why young

kids

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spend too much

time

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on their smartphones and

this

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development only leads to adverse effects towards them. Parents should play a significant role in controlling their sons’ and daughters’ screen

time

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by providing restricted access to certain applications or

games

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Additionally

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, schools should take the initiative to educate students on the negative externalities associated with heavy technology usage for the betterment of the young generation.

srieekesha8Fri May 30 2025

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task achievement

You made good arguments but you could expand on your ideas to make them clearer.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use linking words to connect your ideas and improve the flow of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to have a clear topic sentence for each paragraph that matches the main idea of the paragraph.

structure

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your main points.

task achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your argument stronger.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

451 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or negative development?

Word Count

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Consumers should be forced to buy electric-powered vehicles. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

In many countries, too much money was spent by government and individuals on national celebration such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Online learning will eventually replace traditional classroom-based education. Do you agree or disagree?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?