in some countries, owning a house rather than renting one is very improtant fro people. why might this be the case? do you think this is positive or negative situation?
In some
countries
, owning your personal property is very crucial and necessary for some individuals. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons for Linking Words
this
and look at the negative and positive aspects of Linking Words
this
approach.
Being an owner of your house can be really important for some reasons. Linking Words
Firstly
, in some Linking Words
countries
like Iran, Use synonyms
due to
rising inflation and economic recession, people are usually afraid of losing Linking Words
money
and becoming broke. Use synonyms
Therefore
, when individuals have an adequate amount of Linking Words
money
, they prefer to have their own place to live. Use synonyms
For example
, in Iran, if you have Linking Words
this
chance to become an owner at a young age, you shouldn’t be concerned about your situation of residence anymore. Linking Words
Secondly
, estates and properties are incredible fortunes that you can pass on to the next generation. Because in most of the Middle-Este Linking Words
countries
, the price of them is increasing day after day. Use synonyms
Thirdly
, when you have a personal home you are able to decorate it in your favorite way with the furniture that you really love.
From a positive point of view, as a person who rents an apartment, you may have a lot of stress because you might lose it soon. Linking Words
Moreover
, every year the price of renting is rising and you may not be able to afford it anymore. Linking Words
Therefore
, having your own house will definitely make you relieved.
From another perspective, you should consider that as an owner, you must pay heavy taxes every year. Linking Words
Also
, for buying a place you have to save a great deal of Linking Words
money
and even get a loan from the bank. In Use synonyms
this
case, you may not be capable of spending Linking Words
money
on other things that you want. Use synonyms
For example
, my father saved Linking Words
money
during his life and when he was 80 years old, he could eventually buy his own flat. Use synonyms
While
he lost the pleasure of other things like travelling or having a car.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
buying a home costs a fortune and you have to be patient about it, I personally believe it is necessary. Especially for individuals who are living in developing Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
due to
economic instability.Linking Words
Submitted by mahtaesmailian on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the reasons behind homeownership and its positive and negative aspects. However, try to delve more deeply into each reason to enhance your response. Additional statistical data or research findings could further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, using connectors like 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', etc., can improve the flow.
language
There are minor grammatical and lexical inaccuracies. Pay attention to word choices (e.g. 'Middle-Este' should be 'Middle East') and check for subject-verb agreement errors. Revise sentences for clarity (e.g. 'you shouldn’t be concerned about your situation of residence anymore' could be rephrased to 'you wouldn't have to worry about your living situation anymore').
introduction conclusion present
The essay starts with a clear introduction that presents the task and outlines the structure of the essay.
supported main points
Your essay provides relevant specific examples to support your points, such as the situation in Iran and the example of your father.
logical structure
You have made good use of paragraphs to separate different points, which helps in maintaining clarity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example