In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. Why? Is it a positive or negative phenomenon?

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In today's society, many couples have made conscious decisions to delay

childbirth

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until later in their lives.

This

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trend

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is attributable to a main culprit emerging amongst younger generations by which they have a desire to ascend the

career

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ladder. From my perspective, it is a totally negative approach owing to its harmful effects on mothers and their children alike. It becomes evident that nowadays a large number of individuals, particularly youngsters tend to place a higher value on their

career

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advancement over their family lives.

In other words

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, raising a child in early marriage entails a multitude of responsibilities and consumes a huge amount of time.

Therefore

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, it could

also

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impede them from ascending higher in their path.

Also

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, a wide range of expenses parents need to cover at present has become increasingly exorbitant including Medicare before, during and after birth,

as well as

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the plethora of time required for the birth procedure.

As a result

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, a numerous number of couples have to work constantly under high pressure to be financially and emotionally ready. The benefits of

career

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advancement

this

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trend

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offers may be reasonable to some extent, but people should take into consideration the bad effects it has on both mothers and their kids. Individuals who wish to delay

childbirth

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are more likely to face the risk of medical complications.

In other words

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, there are many scientific researches proving that working under high pressure for a long period of time and experiencing stress from daily life impedes women from conceiving or even results in infertility.

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, delaying

childbirth

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also

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increases the likelihood of the baby being born with severe medical conditions

such

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as Down syndrome.

This

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trend

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poses threats to mothers and children alike, which could adversely affect their lives and these consequences may not be easily remedied. In conclusion, the decision to delay

childbirth

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can be attributed to

career

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development.

However

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this

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trend

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could result in several negative impacts on both parents and children.

ruozzo3095Thu Nov 23 2023

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coherence cohesion

To improve your score in the logical structure aspect of coherence and cohesion, you should focus on creating more seamless transitions between your ideas. Employ a range of cohesive devices and varied sentence structures to enhance the flow of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

You have ensured your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion; however, make sure that the conclusion accurately summarizes the main points discussed without introducing new ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are supported, but consider providing a more detailed discussion with multiple examples or views to create a stronger impact and demonstrate comprehensive understanding of the topic.

task achievement

Your task achievement indicates a decent grasp of the essay topic. To fully complete the response, delve deeper into the implications and provide a balanced view of both positive and negative aspects.

task achievement

You've successfully expressed clear and relatively comprehensive ideas. Nevertheless, adding further elaboration might enhance the strength of your arguments. Continue striving for clarity and depth.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This helps to demonstrate your ability to connect abstract ideas to real-world situations, providing context and enhancing the persuasive power of your essay.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

327 words

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In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. Why? Is it a positive or negative phenomenon?

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers ahould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe thay should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people tend to take temporary jobs (they only work for few months of years )for they have time to do other things. Do you the advantage outweigh disadvantages.