Some people say music is the best way to bring people of different ulture and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #music #ulture #ages

Many

people

argue that the best way to unite folks together from different cultures and generations is through

music

. I completely agree with the statement because of its societal and personal benefits.

This

essay will discuss my opinion in detail with relevant examples.

Firstly

music

provides immense benefits to everyone.

This

is to say that traditional

music

performances often narrate historical events,folklore,

mythical

Correct word choice

and mythical

show examples

tales which

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

individuals to understand their origin,

culture

Correct word choice

and culture

show examples

and help us to

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

respect

Change preposition

for

show examples

our traditional values.

In addition

people

are addicted to

music

and they form a bond through which they share an emotional connectivity.

For instance

, traditional festivals often incorporate

music

events to show their cultural significance.

Secondly

music

helps us to build a happier society.

In other words

people

are

unitted

Correct your spelling

united

regardless of their environments and backgrounds and offers an impressive networking opportunity.

Moreover

such

emotional bond within the community improves

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

overall

well-being.

For example

, concerts influence individuals to participate and enjoy

rhythems

Correct your spelling

rhythms

rhythm

and lyrics

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

understand the language.

To conclude

, in my opinion, I strongly agree that

music

brings

people

together through an emotional bond regardless of

ages

Fix the agreement mistake

age

show examples

and culture.

Therefore

, it must be encouraged to protect our cultural heritage and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ethical values.

Submitted by jeeanay on Thu Nov 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay has a clear, structured introduction, body and conclusion. The introduction should present a thesis statement that gives a brief outline of the argument you will make. In the body, each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea of that paragraph, followed by explanation and examples.

task achievement

While the essay addresses the task, it would benefit from further development of ideas and a clearer position throughout the essay. Make sure that you address all parts of the prompt thoroughly, and try to write a balanced argument if the question requires discussion of both agreement and disagreement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Universal language
Cultural barriers
Shared experience
Social cohesion
Harmony
Synergy
Melody and rhythm
Musical genres
Emotional resonance
Cultural exchange
Intergenerational
Solidarity
Musical heritage
Concerts and festivals
Collective identity
Diversity
Inclusivity
Music aficionado
Cross-cultural
Music streaming platforms

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
No one can ignore the impact of technology with their voluminous applications. However, I personally support that a driverless-based transportation would be impractical, in order for safety concerns.
4.5
band
Some prefer buying online to going to stores. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Shopping has been a part of our habbits for a long time. In the past, families used to go the the mall on holidays, buying gifts and spending quality time together. However, nowadays, most people prefer to shop online. This creates an impact on our daily lifestyles as well as the marketing industry. In this essay, I will go over the pros and cons of online shopping and why I support e-commerce.
6.5
band
Some people think that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school while others believe childrens should not start until secondary school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
A group of individuals present the view that learning a foreign language should be begun in elementary school, while others believe that it should be taught in secondary school. I strongly agree with the former argument.
7
band
Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent times, it is usually believed that friendships that take place online might not be meaningful compared to friendships where people meet each other face to face. In my opinion, I completely agree with this point of view.
5.5
band
Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of possessing an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
in many countries, individuals are experiencing longer lifespans than at any time in history. Although some people believe older generations can bring benefits to society, other’s perspective is that they create significant challenges for governments. in my opinion, these challenges outweigh any advantages.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people say music is the best way to bring people of different ulture and ages together.To what extent do you agree or disagree

Word Count

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some prefer buying online to going to stores. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people think that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school while others believe childrens should not start until secondary school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+