IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In recent decades, the rapid advancements in technology have transformed almost every aspect of our lives. While some believe that these innovations have greatly improved the quality of life, others argue that they have brought about significant challenges and drawbacks.

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In today's modern society,
people
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 can’t even imagine their lives without technology. It seems like everything has changed since the
last
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 century - you don’t need to worry about your deadlines because Artificial Intelligence can write your essay.
Also
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, you don’t even need to go outside -
people
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 have an opportunity to earn money from home, and it’s not necessary to go outside.
However
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, if we think about it carefully, the number of positive aspects won't seem huge compared to the negatives. On the one hand, modern technologies
such
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 as EMIAS.INFO, mos.ru, and gosuslugi make
people
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’s lives easier. At first sight, it might seem that the main
idea
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 of
this
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 high-tech innovation is to make life more comfortable - it’s not necessary to go outside and stay in a queue for hours.
However
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, the main
idea
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 is much more interesting and powerful. The main
idea
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 is to make the system simpler. Humanity no longer has to store
information
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 on kilograms of paper. Humanity no longer needs to solve problems through other
people
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. Almost everything can now be done by machines
instead
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 of
people
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.
As a result
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, modern technologies solve the problem of bureaucracy.
On the other hand
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, the holding of the most valuable human data in cloud storage is not the safest solution. Every day, thieves and swindlers steal not only someone’s bank card
information
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
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 their ID
information
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.
This
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information
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 can sometimes be more important than bank card numbers. Thanks to ID cards,
people
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 might take a loan that surprises you as the ID owner. The modern world provides modern issues,
such
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 as the insecurity of personal data.
However
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, humanity has to adapt to these issues and work on the security of personal data. In conclusion,
it is clear that
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 the rapid advancements in technology have benefits and negative consequences.
People
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 will always try to make their lives easier, but the primary question is how to use modern technologies to keep our private
information
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 safe. Only by maintaining
this
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idea
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 society can enjoy the full potential of technological progress.

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task achievement
Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and complex structures to boost your task response score.
task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more specific and diverse examples throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Further clarify the connections between your points to enhance overall coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively present and summarize the topic.
logical structure
You provide a logical progression of ideas, with a clear focus on both the positive and negative aspects of technology.
supported main points
Your essay is well-structured, with main points supported by relevant examples and explanations.
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