some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

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Dear Sir or Madam Me and my
friends
have
Wrong verb form
had
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a
Remove the article
apply
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dinner at your
restaurant
yesterday. I have only one evening to spend time with both my
friends
who came to Turkey from Moscow and Tashkent, and unfortunately, we chose your
restaurant
. There were four of us, we set at the table in the corner to the left of the entrance. I ordered
Greek
Add an article
a Greek
show examples
salad and fish with
smashed
Correct your spelling
mashed
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potatoes, my
friends
made their orders too. We had waited more than 50 minutes until I got my salad, but my
friends
still hadn’t gotten anything. I was very upset, because I don’t like to eat alone, and it is not acceptable for
restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
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with good reviews and high prices. We made a few requests to
waiter
Add an article
the waiter
a waiter
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, but I am not
shoure
Correct your spelling
sure
that it helped a lot. I sincerely ask you to improve your service quality, even if
you
Change the pronoun
your
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restaurant
has too
much
Change the quantifier
many
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clients – it will be better to
notice
Replace the word
notify
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people about waiting time or prepare free
compliment
Replace the word
complimentary
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snacks to
maintain
Verb problem
keep
show examples
your clients in
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
mood
while
they are waiting. Thank you for your time Dmitry.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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task achievement
The essay does not address the IELTS task given. You have provided a complaint letter which is off-topic for the essay question regarding the importance of being tidy and organized at home and in the workplace. It is crucial to address the task's topic directly and provide a clear position to achieve a higher score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a logical structure appropriate for an IELTS essay. It should include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving a clear purpose and connecting seamlessly with the rest. There also appears to be no clear thesis statement or conclusion. Focus on building your essay with a clear progression of ideas and appropriately utilizing cohesive devices to improve the score in coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • mental well-being
  • professionalism
  • attention to detail
  • work-life balance
  • innovation
  • creativity
  • mental clutter
  • order and control
  • infrastructure
  • ergonomics
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