some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

#people #beleive #home #work #place

Dear Sir or Madam Me and my

friends

have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

dinner at your

restaurant

yesterday. I have only one evening to spend time with both my

friends

who came to Turkey from Moscow and Tashkent, and unfortunately, we chose your

restaurant

. There were four of us, we set at the table in the corner to the left of the entrance. I ordered

Greek

Add an article

a Greek

show examples

salad and fish with

smashed

Correct your spelling

mashed

show examples

potatoes, my

friends

made their orders too. We had waited more than 50 minutes until I got my salad, but my

friends

still hadn’t gotten anything. I was very upset, because I don’t like to eat alone, and it is not acceptable for

restaurant

Add an article

a restaurant

the restaurant

show examples

with good reviews and high prices. We made a few requests to

waiter

Add an article

the waiter

a waiter

show examples

, but I am not

shoure

Correct your spelling

sure

that it helped a lot. I sincerely ask you to improve your service quality, even if

you

Change the pronoun

your

show examples

restaurant

has too

much

Change the quantifier

many

show examples

clients – it will be better to

notice

Replace the word

notify

show examples

people about waiting time or prepare free

compliment

Replace the word

complimentary

show examples

snacks to

maintain

Verb problem

keep

show examples

your clients in

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

mood

while

they are waiting. Thank you for your time Dmitry.

Submitted by dulskywork on Thu Nov 23 2023

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task achievement

The essay does not address the IELTS task given. You have provided a complaint letter which is off-topic for the essay question regarding the importance of being tidy and organized at home and in the workplace. It is crucial to address the task's topic directly and provide a clear position to achieve a higher score in task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a logical structure appropriate for an IELTS essay. It should include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, each serving a clear purpose and connecting seamlessly with the rest. There also appears to be no clear thesis statement or conclusion. Focus on building your essay with a clear progression of ideas and appropriately utilizing cohesive devices to improve the score in coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

185 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

productivity
efficiency
mental well-being
professionalism
attention to detail
work-life balance
innovation
creativity
mental clutter
order and control
infrastructure
ergonomics

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some people beleive that it is important to keep the home and the work place tidy and organized. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

Fully explain your ideas

Large businesses have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result, people gravitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why? Who benefit from this, the community or these young people?

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?