IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years,
news
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 reporters considered bad
news
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 and
emergencies
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 to be more important than others so they prefer to report.
However
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, some
people
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 think
this
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 is not good for
people
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 and community. I will claim that
news
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 could focus on something bad and
emergencies
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 but positive
news
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 still needs to be reported. Reporting problems and
emergencies
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 bring great convenience to
people
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 in general.
For example
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, car accidents happen in many places every day. It is quick to announce
people
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 by reporting and they could be careful and avoid going there.
Moreover
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, the
news
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 always reports
emergencies
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such
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 as the
news
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 of
typhoon
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typhoons
show examples
.
This
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 is paying locals attention to protect them and make them can go safe place as soon as possible.
On the other hand
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, the positive developments encourage
people
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 to live. Nowadays many
people
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 are sick of their feelings in society. Reporting positive
news
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 could encourage them that life is not so hard.
For example
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, disabled athletes want to try their best to win the game, even though their practices are more difficult than general
people
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. They still want to tackle the goal.
In addition
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, there are many films to talk about someone broken and trying to make their life better again in the
news
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. These films help
people
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 realise everything is fine
,
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apply
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 if they are willing to live again.
To sum up
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, the tendency of reporting problem and
emergencies
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 are convenient for
people
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. The positive developments could reassure
people
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 in the individuals and the society when they felt tired.

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Task Response
Your introduction does not adequately paraphrase the prompt, and your thesis statement lacks clarity. Ensure your introduction clearly explains the topic and presents a well-defined thesis that precisely indicates your position on the matter.
Task Response
Your body paragraphs are reasonably well-developed, with examples that support the main points, but they lack specific details and sometimes present unclear ideas. Work on providing more detailed evidence and clearer explanations to strengthen the argument and fully address the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, but transitions between sentences and ideas can be improved for smoother flow. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively across the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion of your essay is present but it could be strengthened. Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarises the main points of the essay and clearly restates your position without introducing new information.
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