It is a good idea for people to continue working in an old age, if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

As a comprehensive ageing

society

Use synonyms

looms, the pros and cons of employing the elderly if their fitness allows have become a hot topic. From my perspective, on the one hand,

this

Linking Words

tendency will alleviate the financial pressure resulting from

society

Use synonyms

's ageing;

on the other hand

Linking Words

, it to some degree deprives the elderly of the right to accompany their families. Extending the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

will definitely decrease the time spent by the elderly on their families. One compelling example can be seen in Japan, where increasingly serious ageing progression has forced its government to revise its laws, dictating that men will retire at the

age

Use synonyms

of 75

while

Linking Words

women are 65.

As a result

Linking Words

, many "silver heads", which were called by some local media, have flown into the Japanese labour market.

Instead

Linking Words

of accompanying their family members, they have to continue toiling in offices

otherwise

Linking Words

they will not obtain a full pension, which, in a developed country, is unaffordable. In an interview by NHK with these old people, they complained that they felt "living like a slavery deprived the right to enjoy family lives". Seen from

this

Linking Words

aspect, extending the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

is not plausible.

However

Linking Words

, the seemingly unreasonable arrangement has its practical concerns. As I have mentioned, many countries, especially Asian countries like China, Japan, and South Korea are struggling with a serious lack of pensions.

This

Linking Words

has led their governments to expand the labour population as largely as possible, to achieve

this

Linking Words

, one of the most direct ways is to postpone

retirement

Use synonyms

. China, under the pressure of domestic depression and population ageing, has proclaimed the extension of

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

, the men from 65 to 70; and the women from 50 to 55.

According to

Linking Words

the calculation of the Economist,

this

Linking Words

will put off the peak of receiving a pension to 2035, which

otherwise

Linking Words

would come in 2028.

Therefore

Linking Words

, postponing the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

is an effective way to tackle the forthcoming ageing

society

Use synonyms

. To summarise,

although

Linking Words

the extension of

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

means old people have less time to accompany their families, it is helpful for governments to face the challenges brought by an ageing

society

Use synonyms

, and thereby what we should do is prepare ourselves for its arrival, rather than constantly complain about it.

hx88375757Mon Oct 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a single, clear idea and focuses on elaborating that idea to improve coherence. Some parts of the essay have multiple main points crowded into a single paragraph, which can make it slightly difficult for readers to follow.

task achievement

Provide more balanced examples or discuss counterarguments where applicable. This will show a more comprehensive understanding and consideration of differing perspectives on the issue.

task achievement

The essay presents relevant and specific examples, such as the situation in Japan, to illustrate the points made. This helps strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, making the essay organized and complete. Both the introduction and conclusion do well to frame the argument effectively.

task achievement

The essay addresses the question directly, with a clear stance taken on whether it is beneficial for people to continue working into old age.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

373 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cognitive decline
Mental and emotional well-being
Social interaction
Financial stability
Sense of purpose
Self-worth
Physical health
Skill utilization
Experience
Flexible working hours
Generational gap
Elderly individuals
Retirement
Workplace
Economic contribution

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and effects on the people themselves and their families.
In the present day, many society from various cities do not spend their time with their families. Its causes are the hustle and bustle of life. Although brings many benefits to each individual, it also causes the risk of losing relationships between family members.
6.5
band
The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?
Nowadays, is common to move to the main cities, and a lot of people decide to move for work or study, as a result, this creates unbalance in both areas and creates more traffic and crowds in big cities.
6.5
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
I agree that children should have a basic understanding of what is right and what is wrong from an early age. When teaching this it doesn't have to cover heavy topics such as serious crimes or social issues, rather it could simply teach them the basics such as manners. It would help immensely in their development of them as people and would be a foundation for who they grow up to be. Teaching children how to behave in front of the public and what is acceptable would also be important so they could fit into society's strict norms. This can help children pick up on social cues and learn why something is and isn't acceptable, which would help them when they start socializing with people outside of their family. Not to mention, learning what is right and wrong can help them build positive habits and would help to prevent the development of negative habits that may hurt others or themselves. However, as we all know, children do not understand everything right away. To ensure they underst...
5
band
Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environment responsibility While others believe that tourists should not accept any responsiblity at all.To what Extend do you agree or disagree.
There is an argument that travelers need to behave well socially as well as maintain environmental quality. Whereas, others argue that there should no any burden to be received by them. I personally agree with the notion that societal and ecological duties need to be considered by tourists.
7.5
band
All education, primary, secondary and further education, should be free to all people and paid for the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that access to education at all levels, from primary school to universities, should be provided free of charge to everyone. In my opinion, teaching is a vital tool for personal growth, helping individuals choose their careers and develop their talents. In this essay, I will discuss how governments can support this process.

It is a good idea for people to continue working in an old age, if it is possible for them to do so. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and effects on the people themselves and their families.

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

Some people believe that tourists should accept social and environment responsibility While others believe that tourists should not accept any responsiblity at all.To what Extend do you agree or disagree.

All education, primary, secondary and further education, should be free to all people and paid for the government. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?